swamped

now a days, i just feel swamped. busy with SO much going on.

this past sunday, my pastor preached about how God places us in areas that we are not strong in, so we can grow. Otherwise it wouldn't make sense if he always placed us in places that we excel in. We would forget to give Him the glory. I totally agree with that!! And i currently feel like that is what God is teaching me. I feel He is really stretching me in the areas of ministry He's placed me in. I am thankful for the opportunity but at the same time it can be overwhelming.
But my pastor reminded us that God gave us spiritual gifts, and He can take it away too. So we need to use the blessings that He's bestowed upon us.

In sunday school, we wrote out a list of ministries God has put on our heart. I have a long list. I feel God has given me a big honor of the responsibility of pursuing each of these groups. In each group, i grow so much in using my spiritual gifts or "gain" new ones :O) I also have the chance to observe other people's spiritual gifts and be blessed by them myself. I love diversity!!

In the midst of all the chaos and busyness and according to a lot of people, MIA-ness, i feel guilt.
Guilt for not keeping in touch with more friends, guilt for not making time for other stuff like looking for a job, guilt for not taking care of myself&exercising more or guilt for not practicing my guitar so i can lead worship one day for epic, and guilt for not making the best of my time.
It sure doesn't help when friends give me crap for not talking to them in awhile or attending events to hang out with them. Initially, it feels good to be missed and it shows that people care. But if it continues to be criticism for being a bad friend and so on, it starts to hurt like why can't you understand me better? They should know i care about them so much and if i could, i would make time. It's hard to not struggle with that. Ultimately, God comes first. I just need to remind myself that.

Even though i am writing about a lot of the struggles, there are still so many rewards...
i love spending time with my housemates. they are all so loving, fun, and genuine!! we have so much fun scaring each other whenever one of us comes back from being out [one of my roomies brought up how she wonders what our neighbors think when they hear us scream randomly everyday ahahah]. we have fun laughing with each other concerning inside jokes. we have fun eating one of our roomies' food creations, mmmm. and we just have fun in general encouraging each other and teasing too!!
They certainly are a blessing to me :O]

Another visible blessing is having my car. i will never stop giving God thanks for that!! it is sooo convenient to have a car and be able to take myself places, give others a lift, and get stuff done without bothering others!! i love it and feel so blessed!!

anywho, it is really late. time to sleep or something.

Praise God for what he is doing and will continue to do in my life. Never stop hoping in Him because he ALWAYS comes through.

always.