tonight was another perfect and God-meant opportunity!! for the first time, i looked forward to Bio discussion because of it. :O)
so our professor had the LGBT resource center have a panel for our discussion class to be open to answering questions.
i learned so much tonight!! and i had a good time laughing at all the funny stories and awkward moments.
There were 4 students on the panel and the leader of the LGBT resource center was facilitating the discussion. Each of the students were very unique, 2 boys and 2 girls and two were gay, one was bi, and the other was transsexual. One was mexican, one was asian, one was white, and the other one looked hispanic too.
it was very interesting hearing their stories, getting to ask them questions, and seeing how open and honest they were. they made a lot of funny jokes too!!
so some of the things i found out through my questions and other's questions:
-one of them is a christian, one of them is agnostic [because he believes that not everything was a random mistake], one of them is atheist [because she believes everything is a horrible mistake], one of them is muslim [her dad didn't mind her being lesbian and jokingly said as long as she brought a muslim girl home], and the last one was also atheist.
-they do not always have "gaydar." the lesbian said she has a broken gaydar and can't tell for crap ahah. the transgender and the gay guys said they can tell 90% of the time. one of the guys said he does this test and stares for awhile [the straight guys tend to turn away really quick and the gay guys tend to stare back longer].
-when i asked the worst way they have been discriminated against, some answers were being stared at&given weird looks, being yelled at from a random guy in a parking lot cause they were wearing a legalize homosexuality shirt&it was at night in an alley so it was dangerous and scary, being kicked out of home, and being outed after truthfully confronting a crush that turned out to be straight.
lastly, this lingering issue they brought up has brought a lot to my attention. someone asked about adoption and one of them was super passionate about vying for rights for homosexuals to be allowed to raise children and adopt. because she was making the point that two lesbians could raise a kid and that kid could have love and care as opposed to feeling rejected and unwanted in an adoption agency. one of the gay guys made a point saying that his friend was raised by lesbian mothers and he turned out to be straight and so the outcome is that he learned not to judge at first appearance.
it was really interesting to hear that and think of that. it almost started to sway my opinion. i saw their point and wanted to agree with them that it's better for a kid to be loved and grow up in a loving home instead of having to be alone or without parents in a adoption agency with no individual attention it could get from adopted parents.
it's something i need to be aware of and be firm in my beliefs. that i can still feel compassion for the LGBT community, but i must never sway from what God says about homosexuality. Yes, it seems to be nicer if a kid were to be adopted by homosexual parents but at the same time would God want that? Is that beneficial for the kid?
there are so many questions still, so many answers to be sought, a ton of patience to be had, and lots of love to show. i felt so happy learning more about the LGBT community, seeing how willing and honest the panel was to share about their personal lives, and it felt great just being able to listen to their individual stories and it was in a safe environment.
afterwards, they had fliers and handouts and i totally took some and cannot wait to attend an ally workshop they are having just for people to know what terms to use, what's ok to say, and how one should interact with the LGBT community. They also have a chatroom where you can ask any questions you want like "my friend just came out. what should i do?"
as i was leaving class and walking to AACF, i felt so happy inside that i had an opportunity to learn more and understand the LGBT community, and that God entrusted me with this love for them that i cannot explain. i haven't even had that much experience with homosexuals and yet i feel soooo much love for them. i really want to reach out to them and show them that Jesus DOES care, Jesus cares about their struggles and wants to embrace them and give them strength to deal with what they need to.
Yet, i have so much i need to prepare for in terms of being more grounded, knowing which events to attend that the LGBT Resource center puts together, and prayer prayer prayer! i have been blessed tremendously with 2 friends who also have the same heart as me and i recently found another one that wants to get involved too.
GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!
p.s. worship night at AACF with Troy Lee was really good. i always do feel intimate with God in worship when Troy leads. i am so thankful that i do not miss out on everything when i return from class. :O]
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
I was a gas-line ready to explode
God has released me. these past few weeks have been really stressful and because of that, i've been building up guilt and trying to do everything by myself. partly because i didn't realize i was taking everything on myself, i didn't know who i should talk to, and i thought it was normal. so i felt really burdened.
Well, yesterday, at AACF, i took advantage of the altar call. it was pretty crazy how things worked out cause i was able to go to aacf for a few minutes and stayed for worship for 2 songs. then i had to go to my class for an hour and then came back to aacf. everytime i come back, i feel i always catch the best part of the message [cause it's past the building up and into the nitty gritty].
the speaker was addressing how we are a family under God and that if someone asks us how we're doing, we shouldn't lie and say we're doing ok when really we want to break down and cry. then he continued talking about God's astounding grace and how He loves us so much. Then he went into prayer and prayed "i don't know if there's anyone hurting here tonight or going through a hard time, but God knows and he cares so much..." that's when i started to sob. i couldn't hold it all in anymore. i didn't care who was sitting next to me [like if they saw me crying] or what would happen. the Lord was just touching my heart.
as soon as he gave the usual altar call that there are leaders in the back ready to pray for us, i went to go find one.
Lori was the closest to where i was sitting and she's been such a great sister, i felt safe to approach her.
she could tell right away that something was wrong and asked if i was ok to which i honestly answered no and then continued crying again. she just held me and prayed over me. that was just what i needed and God knew that. during that time, i felt really ministered to and was able to release a lot of guilt i was feeling, and other things i had been holding onto.
after yesterday, it was just confirmed that aacf is my fellowship. epic is my ministry.
God has blessed me with aacf with the family ready to laugh, joke, pray, and have fun with me. :O] i'm not saying that epic doesn't offer any of that but i view it in a different light.
anyways, the whole point of sharing this is just to continue to encourage you guys [who read this] to follow God, be REAL with Him and yourself and others, and that HAVING FAITH TAKES YOU TO AMAZING HEIGHTS.
i heard this song again by Kutless today that really mirrored what i feel:
What Faith Can Do-
Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining
I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing
[the rest of the song is pretty long but you can google it]
to God be ALL praise!!
Well, yesterday, at AACF, i took advantage of the altar call. it was pretty crazy how things worked out cause i was able to go to aacf for a few minutes and stayed for worship for 2 songs. then i had to go to my class for an hour and then came back to aacf. everytime i come back, i feel i always catch the best part of the message [cause it's past the building up and into the nitty gritty].
the speaker was addressing how we are a family under God and that if someone asks us how we're doing, we shouldn't lie and say we're doing ok when really we want to break down and cry. then he continued talking about God's astounding grace and how He loves us so much. Then he went into prayer and prayed "i don't know if there's anyone hurting here tonight or going through a hard time, but God knows and he cares so much..." that's when i started to sob. i couldn't hold it all in anymore. i didn't care who was sitting next to me [like if they saw me crying] or what would happen. the Lord was just touching my heart.
as soon as he gave the usual altar call that there are leaders in the back ready to pray for us, i went to go find one.
Lori was the closest to where i was sitting and she's been such a great sister, i felt safe to approach her.
she could tell right away that something was wrong and asked if i was ok to which i honestly answered no and then continued crying again. she just held me and prayed over me. that was just what i needed and God knew that. during that time, i felt really ministered to and was able to release a lot of guilt i was feeling, and other things i had been holding onto.
after yesterday, it was just confirmed that aacf is my fellowship. epic is my ministry.
God has blessed me with aacf with the family ready to laugh, joke, pray, and have fun with me. :O] i'm not saying that epic doesn't offer any of that but i view it in a different light.
anyways, the whole point of sharing this is just to continue to encourage you guys [who read this] to follow God, be REAL with Him and yourself and others, and that HAVING FAITH TAKES YOU TO AMAZING HEIGHTS.
i heard this song again by Kutless today that really mirrored what i feel:
What Faith Can Do-
Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining
I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing
[the rest of the song is pretty long but you can google it]
to God be ALL praise!!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
swamped
now a days, i just feel swamped. busy with SO much going on.
this past sunday, my pastor preached about how God places us in areas that we are not strong in, so we can grow. Otherwise it wouldn't make sense if he always placed us in places that we excel in. We would forget to give Him the glory. I totally agree with that!! And i currently feel like that is what God is teaching me. I feel He is really stretching me in the areas of ministry He's placed me in. I am thankful for the opportunity but at the same time it can be overwhelming.
But my pastor reminded us that God gave us spiritual gifts, and He can take it away too. So we need to use the blessings that He's bestowed upon us.
In sunday school, we wrote out a list of ministries God has put on our heart. I have a long list. I feel God has given me a big honor of the responsibility of pursuing each of these groups. In each group, i grow so much in using my spiritual gifts or "gain" new ones :O) I also have the chance to observe other people's spiritual gifts and be blessed by them myself. I love diversity!!
In the midst of all the chaos and busyness and according to a lot of people, MIA-ness, i feel guilt.
Guilt for not keeping in touch with more friends, guilt for not making time for other stuff like looking for a job, guilt for not taking care of myself&exercising more or guilt for not practicing my guitar so i can lead worship one day for epic, and guilt for not making the best of my time.
It sure doesn't help when friends give me crap for not talking to them in awhile or attending events to hang out with them. Initially, it feels good to be missed and it shows that people care. But if it continues to be criticism for being a bad friend and so on, it starts to hurt like why can't you understand me better? They should know i care about them so much and if i could, i would make time. It's hard to not struggle with that. Ultimately, God comes first. I just need to remind myself that.
Even though i am writing about a lot of the struggles, there are still so many rewards...
i love spending time with my housemates. they are all so loving, fun, and genuine!! we have so much fun scaring each other whenever one of us comes back from being out [one of my roomies brought up how she wonders what our neighbors think when they hear us scream randomly everyday ahahah]. we have fun laughing with each other concerning inside jokes. we have fun eating one of our roomies' food creations, mmmm. and we just have fun in general encouraging each other and teasing too!!
They certainly are a blessing to me :O]
Another visible blessing is having my car. i will never stop giving God thanks for that!! it is sooo convenient to have a car and be able to take myself places, give others a lift, and get stuff done without bothering others!! i love it and feel so blessed!!
anywho, it is really late. time to sleep or something.
Praise God for what he is doing and will continue to do in my life. Never stop hoping in Him because he ALWAYS comes through.
always.
this past sunday, my pastor preached about how God places us in areas that we are not strong in, so we can grow. Otherwise it wouldn't make sense if he always placed us in places that we excel in. We would forget to give Him the glory. I totally agree with that!! And i currently feel like that is what God is teaching me. I feel He is really stretching me in the areas of ministry He's placed me in. I am thankful for the opportunity but at the same time it can be overwhelming.
But my pastor reminded us that God gave us spiritual gifts, and He can take it away too. So we need to use the blessings that He's bestowed upon us.
In sunday school, we wrote out a list of ministries God has put on our heart. I have a long list. I feel God has given me a big honor of the responsibility of pursuing each of these groups. In each group, i grow so much in using my spiritual gifts or "gain" new ones :O) I also have the chance to observe other people's spiritual gifts and be blessed by them myself. I love diversity!!
In the midst of all the chaos and busyness and according to a lot of people, MIA-ness, i feel guilt.
Guilt for not keeping in touch with more friends, guilt for not making time for other stuff like looking for a job, guilt for not taking care of myself&exercising more or guilt for not practicing my guitar so i can lead worship one day for epic, and guilt for not making the best of my time.
It sure doesn't help when friends give me crap for not talking to them in awhile or attending events to hang out with them. Initially, it feels good to be missed and it shows that people care. But if it continues to be criticism for being a bad friend and so on, it starts to hurt like why can't you understand me better? They should know i care about them so much and if i could, i would make time. It's hard to not struggle with that. Ultimately, God comes first. I just need to remind myself that.
Even though i am writing about a lot of the struggles, there are still so many rewards...
i love spending time with my housemates. they are all so loving, fun, and genuine!! we have so much fun scaring each other whenever one of us comes back from being out [one of my roomies brought up how she wonders what our neighbors think when they hear us scream randomly everyday ahahah]. we have fun laughing with each other concerning inside jokes. we have fun eating one of our roomies' food creations, mmmm. and we just have fun in general encouraging each other and teasing too!!
They certainly are a blessing to me :O]
Another visible blessing is having my car. i will never stop giving God thanks for that!! it is sooo convenient to have a car and be able to take myself places, give others a lift, and get stuff done without bothering others!! i love it and feel so blessed!!
anywho, it is really late. time to sleep or something.
Praise God for what he is doing and will continue to do in my life. Never stop hoping in Him because he ALWAYS comes through.
always.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Jesus EMPOWERS me
tonight was amazing. totally not what i expected at all!!
grace yellow and i went to the candlelight vigil for the gay suicides at the Bell tower.
i went with expectations to hopefully make connections, show the LGBT community that Jesus loves them through my&grace's attendance, and to listen to the stories/testimonials.
when we got there, there was a girl already sharing her personal story of how she's been affected by those around her after she came out. after realizing that people were sharing personal stories and the facilitator asked if anyone else wanted to share, we picked up that it was open and anyone could speak. that is when grace got the idea and nudged me saying we should say something, apologizing for christians and the way we treat the LGBT community.
when she did that, my heart started beating like CRAZY!! i knew she was right and we did come there for a purpose, so i wanted to do it. but i was nervous like crazy and was starting to let me insecurities take over like how i'm bad with words and i didn't want to offend anyone.
but i REALLY really wanted to take a stand for Jesus and i truly felt the Holy Spirit telling me that i should speak up. so grace and i established that i would start and she would end.
so i started by saying "Hi, my name is Jessica and this is my friend Grace. We are here to support the LGBT community and show them that we love them because Jesus loves them. We also wanted to apologize for how christians have treated the LGBT community, because we are christians too and we wanted to show you that we care." [it was something along the lines of that] and then grace spoke and gave a little testimony of why she has a heart for the LGBT community as well and then agreed&emphasized with my points about apologizing for christians.
it was crazy.
we both TOTALLY did not go to the vigil with expectations to talk. i totally was going with intention to listen. funny how God had different plans. :O)
afterwards, one girl approached us thanking us for speaking up and how she's christian also. another girl approached us from the newspaper wanting to get our opinion on why we came, what we thought of it, and so on. so we might be in the newspaper! and lastly, another guy approached us to also thank us for speaking up. he shared how he was looking for a christian club too and asked which one we went to. so he might come out tomorrow to AACF! i'm so excited!! already God is rewarding us for our courage.
it was really good though to go and listen to the personal testimonials. i really felt the hurt and anger they felt. and it was interesting because a police officer was there in uniform and he stepped in the middle of the circle to share how he came because he also supports the LGBT community and wanted them to know that, he shared how he used to be a student at UCR too and now works at the UCR police department [for several years too]. he also shared how he wasn't asked by the police department to come and that he came on his own free will. lastly, he shared how many other people at the police station support the LGBT community as well and will be glad to assist if anyone wanted to come by and talk to them.
i'm really glad i was able to go to this event. it opened my eyes to new perspective and showed me how some stereotypes are actually true. also, i feel i have gained more understanding and a bigger heart for the hurt they feel from the world and other anti-LGBT people.
i feel God has prepared me for this moment and more to come, i just need to speak out and step up.
grace yellow and i went to the candlelight vigil for the gay suicides at the Bell tower.
i went with expectations to hopefully make connections, show the LGBT community that Jesus loves them through my&grace's attendance, and to listen to the stories/testimonials.
when we got there, there was a girl already sharing her personal story of how she's been affected by those around her after she came out. after realizing that people were sharing personal stories and the facilitator asked if anyone else wanted to share, we picked up that it was open and anyone could speak. that is when grace got the idea and nudged me saying we should say something, apologizing for christians and the way we treat the LGBT community.
when she did that, my heart started beating like CRAZY!! i knew she was right and we did come there for a purpose, so i wanted to do it. but i was nervous like crazy and was starting to let me insecurities take over like how i'm bad with words and i didn't want to offend anyone.
but i REALLY really wanted to take a stand for Jesus and i truly felt the Holy Spirit telling me that i should speak up. so grace and i established that i would start and she would end.
so i started by saying "Hi, my name is Jessica and this is my friend Grace. We are here to support the LGBT community and show them that we love them because Jesus loves them. We also wanted to apologize for how christians have treated the LGBT community, because we are christians too and we wanted to show you that we care." [it was something along the lines of that] and then grace spoke and gave a little testimony of why she has a heart for the LGBT community as well and then agreed&emphasized with my points about apologizing for christians.
it was crazy.
we both TOTALLY did not go to the vigil with expectations to talk. i totally was going with intention to listen. funny how God had different plans. :O)
afterwards, one girl approached us thanking us for speaking up and how she's christian also. another girl approached us from the newspaper wanting to get our opinion on why we came, what we thought of it, and so on. so we might be in the newspaper! and lastly, another guy approached us to also thank us for speaking up. he shared how he was looking for a christian club too and asked which one we went to. so he might come out tomorrow to AACF! i'm so excited!! already God is rewarding us for our courage.
it was really good though to go and listen to the personal testimonials. i really felt the hurt and anger they felt. and it was interesting because a police officer was there in uniform and he stepped in the middle of the circle to share how he came because he also supports the LGBT community and wanted them to know that, he shared how he used to be a student at UCR too and now works at the UCR police department [for several years too]. he also shared how he wasn't asked by the police department to come and that he came on his own free will. lastly, he shared how many other people at the police station support the LGBT community as well and will be glad to assist if anyone wanted to come by and talk to them.
i'm really glad i was able to go to this event. it opened my eyes to new perspective and showed me how some stereotypes are actually true. also, i feel i have gained more understanding and a bigger heart for the hurt they feel from the world and other anti-LGBT people.
i feel God has prepared me for this moment and more to come, i just need to speak out and step up.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Jesus sent me on this wild adventure...
...because He knew my life would be boring without it. :O)
my true friends are the ones who ask me how Epic went. thanks to those who ask about it. means a lot to me. shows you care and understand how important it is to me.
Tonight was our first Epic meeting of the year! It was very blessed as always :O)
i was sitting in the back just reflecting on how crazy God's plans are. About three years ago [maybe 4], God had a vision to start Epic at UCR. Two people stepped up to put that plan into action and pursued and invested into 3 of us. Well, all of the hard work, caring, and planning turned out to be successful and now those 3 students caught the vision and are devoted to Epic.
Last year, Epic became official on UCR as a club on campus. It was answered prayer. We started with 3 people, averaged about 22 at our weekly meetings. it was amazing and PURELY only God who orchestrated everything.
This year, we have another classroom. it feels GREAT having our own room. our very own room dedicated to Epic to be free to worship God and talk without outside noise. We have a new staff team and as always, they are always dedicated, super helpful, caring, and awesome!! I can't get over how many lessons God has taught and is still teaching me through serving in Epic. it's so mind blowing to me. i never thought in a million years that i would be co-leading a club. responsibility scares me, especially when it involves others' spiritual lives. but God has taught me a lot through my insecurities and has given me so many encouraging staff, co-leaders, and friends. God has shown me that he CAN take me higher than i could ever imagine.
i just need to do my part and follow Him wholeheartedly.
my true friends are the ones who ask me how Epic went. thanks to those who ask about it. means a lot to me. shows you care and understand how important it is to me.
Tonight was our first Epic meeting of the year! It was very blessed as always :O)
i was sitting in the back just reflecting on how crazy God's plans are. About three years ago [maybe 4], God had a vision to start Epic at UCR. Two people stepped up to put that plan into action and pursued and invested into 3 of us. Well, all of the hard work, caring, and planning turned out to be successful and now those 3 students caught the vision and are devoted to Epic.
Last year, Epic became official on UCR as a club on campus. It was answered prayer. We started with 3 people, averaged about 22 at our weekly meetings. it was amazing and PURELY only God who orchestrated everything.
This year, we have another classroom. it feels GREAT having our own room. our very own room dedicated to Epic to be free to worship God and talk without outside noise. We have a new staff team and as always, they are always dedicated, super helpful, caring, and awesome!! I can't get over how many lessons God has taught and is still teaching me through serving in Epic. it's so mind blowing to me. i never thought in a million years that i would be co-leading a club. responsibility scares me, especially when it involves others' spiritual lives. but God has taught me a lot through my insecurities and has given me so many encouraging staff, co-leaders, and friends. God has shown me that he CAN take me higher than i could ever imagine.
i just need to do my part and follow Him wholeheartedly.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
ups and downs galore
funny how things can be so sad and the next moment, there's laughter. [so there are sad times and then joyous times]
today was a sad day and yet a good day.
3 situations happened that really brought me down:
-my friend told me his cousin hung herself and that's why he went back home this past weekend [after i asked if he enjoyed his weekend home and everything :Op]
-another friend told me that a mutual friend is denouncing his faith
-one of my friends is in the hospital because of surgery on his leg
here are the things that brought me up:
-getting to wear a scarf and jacket again
-feeling sore but it's good cause the instructor said if we feel it, we did the work out right!
-eating yummy ramen on a cold day
-not having to walk home at night cause of my lovely roomy who picked me up
-petting a kitty and oozing at it's cuteness
-getting to know one of the girls on our servant team :O)
-getting to drive. i'll never stop seeing it as a blessing. especially owning a car.
-spending time with the roomies. i absolutely love them!!<333
thank you God for the lows and highs. you are my stronghold!!
today was a sad day and yet a good day.
3 situations happened that really brought me down:
-my friend told me his cousin hung herself and that's why he went back home this past weekend [after i asked if he enjoyed his weekend home and everything :Op]
-another friend told me that a mutual friend is denouncing his faith
-one of my friends is in the hospital because of surgery on his leg
here are the things that brought me up:
-getting to wear a scarf and jacket again
-feeling sore but it's good cause the instructor said if we feel it, we did the work out right!
-eating yummy ramen on a cold day
-not having to walk home at night cause of my lovely roomy who picked me up
-petting a kitty and oozing at it's cuteness
-getting to know one of the girls on our servant team :O)
-getting to drive. i'll never stop seeing it as a blessing. especially owning a car.
-spending time with the roomies. i absolutely love them!!<333
thank you God for the lows and highs. you are my stronghold!!
Monday, October 4, 2010
senior reflections
this senior year has me reflecting more than ever on my life and time at UCR.
there are SO many things i love about Riverside. people are just haters and haven't experienced Riverside enough to give it a chance.
i appreciate the following:
-there are some NICE views overlooking Riverside in various areas
-there are a lot of nice parks you can freely hold events, take pictures at, or just go to for fun and spontaneous visits!
-mission inn is really nice and has a lot of cute shops
-at UCR, i love my senior class. they're awesome <3 i miss hanging out with a lot of them. now that we're all older, most of us are serving and barely have time to meet up with each other unless it involves ministry. it's so sad. i VALUE the time i get to talk to each and every one of them. even seeing them is special :O]
-ministries here have grown me sooo much and my spiritual walk has spiraled up in a humongous way. i look at Riverside fondly because this is where i have done so much of my spiritual and mental growth.
-driving at night with my windows rolled down [including sunroof!] and feeling the wind breeze on through (and if you drive on iowa, you smell the orange trees. so YUM)
-i love being so close to all my friends [cause we all live fairly close to campus verses if we were at our respected homes]
-in Riverside, i have been treated to so many meals :O) thanks to all who fed my stomach well.
i can keep listing things but yeah it's great in Riverside! woooo!!!
there are SO many things i love about Riverside. people are just haters and haven't experienced Riverside enough to give it a chance.
i appreciate the following:
-there are some NICE views overlooking Riverside in various areas
-there are a lot of nice parks you can freely hold events, take pictures at, or just go to for fun and spontaneous visits!
-mission inn is really nice and has a lot of cute shops
-at UCR, i love my senior class. they're awesome <3 i miss hanging out with a lot of them. now that we're all older, most of us are serving and barely have time to meet up with each other unless it involves ministry. it's so sad. i VALUE the time i get to talk to each and every one of them. even seeing them is special :O]
-ministries here have grown me sooo much and my spiritual walk has spiraled up in a humongous way. i look at Riverside fondly because this is where i have done so much of my spiritual and mental growth.
-driving at night with my windows rolled down [including sunroof!] and feeling the wind breeze on through (and if you drive on iowa, you smell the orange trees. so YUM)
-i love being so close to all my friends [cause we all live fairly close to campus verses if we were at our respected homes]
-in Riverside, i have been treated to so many meals :O) thanks to all who fed my stomach well.
i can keep listing things but yeah it's great in Riverside! woooo!!!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
...it was just what i needed
Recently, God has brought me renewal.
Renewal of Body, Spirit, Mind, and Heart.
This weekend was what i needed, a little R&R. :O]
I had planned to take a trip to Norcal to surprise a friend for his baptism but it didn't work out [ride-wise]. i was SUPER bummed but later God proved to me once again his amazing plan for me. Because my plans for this weekend didn't work out, i basically had a free weekend and i used it to meet/catch up with people and get some hw done.
It was just what i needed.
Being able to spend some time with the roommates, sleep in, catch up with friends, organize ministry stuff, and get some hw done was a huge blessing!!
I feel ready again to start school now that 1st week is over [and being sick last week really made me feel so behind].
I also feel ready to tackle this year ministry wise :O)
I also have decided which church i am going to attend when i stay on the weekend in Riverside. The message today was very convicting and talked about loyalty in the story of Ruth and it was crazy cause the pastor acknowledged what i have been praying and talking about for awhile, he mentioned how we have to find a church and stick with it; be committed to your church.
It's true, i totally need to just PICK ONE and stick with it! so i figured Sandals is a good choice because i feel welcomed&into the family, i learn so much from his messages&always feel convicted, and even though the church is big i still find community within the aacf attendees :O]
God is good. here is one of the verses from today's message that i really like&want to apply to my life:
Psalm 51:10
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."
Renewal of Body, Spirit, Mind, and Heart.
This weekend was what i needed, a little R&R. :O]
I had planned to take a trip to Norcal to surprise a friend for his baptism but it didn't work out [ride-wise]. i was SUPER bummed but later God proved to me once again his amazing plan for me. Because my plans for this weekend didn't work out, i basically had a free weekend and i used it to meet/catch up with people and get some hw done.
It was just what i needed.
Being able to spend some time with the roommates, sleep in, catch up with friends, organize ministry stuff, and get some hw done was a huge blessing!!
I feel ready again to start school now that 1st week is over [and being sick last week really made me feel so behind].
I also feel ready to tackle this year ministry wise :O)
I also have decided which church i am going to attend when i stay on the weekend in Riverside. The message today was very convicting and talked about loyalty in the story of Ruth and it was crazy cause the pastor acknowledged what i have been praying and talking about for awhile, he mentioned how we have to find a church and stick with it; be committed to your church.
It's true, i totally need to just PICK ONE and stick with it! so i figured Sandals is a good choice because i feel welcomed&into the family, i learn so much from his messages&always feel convicted, and even though the church is big i still find community within the aacf attendees :O]
God is good. here is one of the verses from today's message that i really like&want to apply to my life:
Psalm 51:10
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."
Friday, October 1, 2010
a little torn
so i thought i was done with this feeling but it's still coursing through me.
having two specific ministries on my heart makes me feel so divided.
on one hand, there is a ministry where i attend class, hang out with, and live with it's people.
on the other hand, there is a ministry where i invest, serve, and fellowship with it's people.
the first ministry i was placed in to help me grow and learn from others.
the second ministry i was called to so i could serve, encourage, and be challenged in.
these ministries meet on different days during the week but when there are those events where they occur on the same day or weekend, i always have to choose!!
now of course i automatically have to choose the side of where God has specifically placed a calling on my life. But it is always so extremely difficult for me to not think about the ministry that first made an impression in my heart and will always be my home no matter what.
it doesn't help either when the people i live with and hang out with more, talk about the ministry's upcoming events and tell me to go but when they find out i can't, they try to think of alternative methods of my attending but it puts more stress on having to think about both events and most of the time, i can only go to one. so choosing has to be done.
gahhh i know it shouldn't be this hard. especially when God has called me to serve in one over the other.
i'm sure there is a bigger lesson to be learned behind this than what i can see.
i look forward to discovering it along the path of following Him and trusting Him....
having two specific ministries on my heart makes me feel so divided.
on one hand, there is a ministry where i attend class, hang out with, and live with it's people.
on the other hand, there is a ministry where i invest, serve, and fellowship with it's people.
the first ministry i was placed in to help me grow and learn from others.
the second ministry i was called to so i could serve, encourage, and be challenged in.
these ministries meet on different days during the week but when there are those events where they occur on the same day or weekend, i always have to choose!!
now of course i automatically have to choose the side of where God has specifically placed a calling on my life. But it is always so extremely difficult for me to not think about the ministry that first made an impression in my heart and will always be my home no matter what.
it doesn't help either when the people i live with and hang out with more, talk about the ministry's upcoming events and tell me to go but when they find out i can't, they try to think of alternative methods of my attending but it puts more stress on having to think about both events and most of the time, i can only go to one. so choosing has to be done.
gahhh i know it shouldn't be this hard. especially when God has called me to serve in one over the other.
i'm sure there is a bigger lesson to be learned behind this than what i can see.
i look forward to discovering it along the path of following Him and trusting Him....
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