Jesus EMPOWERS me

tonight was amazing. totally not what i expected at all!!

grace yellow and i went to the candlelight vigil for the gay suicides at the Bell tower.

i went with expectations to hopefully make connections, show the LGBT community that Jesus loves them through my&grace's attendance, and to listen to the stories/testimonials.

when we got there, there was a girl already sharing her personal story of how she's been affected by those around her after she came out. after realizing that people were sharing personal stories and the facilitator asked if anyone else wanted to share, we picked up that it was open and anyone could speak. that is when grace got the idea and nudged me saying we should say something, apologizing for christians and the way we treat the LGBT community.
when she did that, my heart started beating like CRAZY!! i knew she was right and we did come there for a purpose, so i wanted to do it. but i was nervous like crazy and was starting to let me insecurities take over like how i'm bad with words and i didn't want to offend anyone.
but i REALLY really wanted to take a stand for Jesus and i truly felt the Holy Spirit telling me that i should speak up. so grace and i established that i would start and she would end.
so i started by saying "Hi, my name is Jessica and this is my friend Grace. We are here to support the LGBT community and show them that we love them because Jesus loves them. We also wanted to apologize for how christians have treated the LGBT community, because we are christians too and we wanted to show you that we care." [it was something along the lines of that] and then grace spoke and gave a little testimony of why she has a heart for the LGBT community as well and then agreed&emphasized with my points about apologizing for christians.

it was crazy.

we both TOTALLY did not go to the vigil with expectations to talk. i totally was going with intention to listen. funny how God had different plans. :O)

afterwards, one girl approached us thanking us for speaking up and how she's christian also. another girl approached us from the newspaper wanting to get our opinion on why we came, what we thought of it, and so on. so we might be in the newspaper! and lastly, another guy approached us to also thank us for speaking up. he shared how he was looking for a christian club too and asked which one we went to. so he might come out tomorrow to AACF! i'm so excited!! already God is rewarding us for our courage.

it was really good though to go and listen to the personal testimonials. i really felt the hurt and anger they felt. and it was interesting because a police officer was there in uniform and he stepped in the middle of the circle to share how he came because he also supports the LGBT community and wanted them to know that, he shared how he used to be a student at UCR too and now works at the UCR police department [for several years too]. he also shared how he wasn't asked by the police department to come and that he came on his own free will. lastly, he shared how many other people at the police station support the LGBT community as well and will be glad to assist if anyone wanted to come by and talk to them.

i'm really glad i was able to go to this event. it opened my eyes to new perspective and showed me how some stereotypes are actually true. also, i feel i have gained more understanding and a bigger heart for the hurt they feel from the world and other anti-LGBT people.

i feel God has prepared me for this moment and more to come, i just need to speak out and step up.