so i made this blog to help myself stop repressing my thoughts and feelings. and ultimately i wanted to encourage others through my learned experiences. but sometimes i just plain need to rant. then after ranting, i can go back and look at what i need to work on and how i can use my hard times as edification towards God.
things are so frustrating back at home. i can't emphasize enough how challenging it has been. someone pointed out to me that God has been paving the way for me to come back home after i graduate. i see it too and i am SO grateful for it. but amidst the blessings lie challenges and hardships. i know these are here to grow me and help me understand things in the long run.
yet...sometimes its so hard to regain perspective. this summer has been THE toughest time i've ever spent with my family. there's been arguments, yelling, disrespect, tears, hurt feelings, heartbreaking truths revealed, awkward silences, etc.
with family, this is expected to happen. no family is perfect. it's annoying because a lot of people expect my family to be perfect. they see the outside and never consider the inside. they judge based on what they know but they never consider what they do NOT know. i know i cannot blame them for not being aware but they should try to be a little more...how to say...discerning with what they say about and to my family.
i keep thinking about how after 4 years, i'm finally coming back home permanently. it's going to be a lot of change. DEFINITELY challenging. i know it won't be easy for them too. it will take a lot of adjusting.
post grads have warned me about this all the time. and i have been preparing for it cause i already knew it would happen. but be warned and prepared can't really prevent conflict and hard times from happening.
ok focusing on all of this can be depressing and bring one in such a downer mood. so i will share how music has helped me. music really is good for the soul. i don't understand how some people do not like music or don't have favorite bands or genres. music is amazing. it really does calm me or encourage me [christian music or other genres] when i am feeling down or discouraged. as i was writing this, i was listening to pandora on my Jadon Lavik station/channel. so many songs that speak directly to what i'm going through. praise God for his everlasting knowledge and understanding....and his love [the MOST powerful thing].
so much more to blog about that happened this summer but that will have to happen another time.
if you read this, please pray for me to continue holding tightly onto God, the ultimate father who never stops loving and teaching us life lessons.
