creative writing, what do you picture when you hear that? you picture writing that is going to have lots of creative stuff in it of course!
mmm there might be other stuff you consider as well but when i first signed up to take this class, i was excited because i like to write and explore in writing and i had a feeling this class would take me there. and take me there it did! in fact, it took me even further than i imagined!
this class has been very insightful. the professor is not a christian but the things that she says can really parallel to christian terms and ideas and meanings. she talks a lot about allowing oneself to flow freely and to not hold back. the biggest point she has made so far is about being honest. about willing to be "naked" in front of people and bare all. she talked about the difference between nude and naked and now nude is seen as more polite and artsy while as naked is shocking, truthful, and even offensive at times.
i like to think of myself as an honest person. someone who doesn't lie because it's a sin. of course i am not perfect and i never consider myself anything near that. but, i like to try my best to abide by the rules.
anywho, as we were exploring this in creative writing [this=honesty&nakedness], i realized there is a lot i hold back from. i have a lot of fear. i like to think i don't and that i can get over what i need to but sometimes it's so natural that i don't realize i am clothing myself with lies. or that i am holding tightly onto my clothes and not allowing myself to be sincere and unfeigned.
this class has really started to move me forward in that direction. it's like pushing me on the diving board to get closer to the edge. my professor went out on a big leap herself and bared her soul in front of us. she shared what she really struggles with and shared painful childhood memories. she allowed herself to go past nude so that we could understand what she is trying to teach us. so that we could do the same and be brave enough to set ourselves free.
i have respect for how she was able to so honestly speak in front of 270 students that she does not know and that she might never see again. she is that passionate about teaching and helping us learn. i don't see how i can not be moved and want to follow.
being brave is never a natural talent. it is something one must learn. it is something one must push themselves to do in order to be great. but in my case, i don't want to be great. i want the Lord's greatness to shine. i want to push myself to be great in Him and for Him.
i've been doing a lot of reflecting as i'm preparing for our class project at the end where we have to write a story about our life. it has to be a story that is only about us. a story that is complicated. a story that breaks the barrier that holds in all the emotions and that will allow it to spill forth like a fountain. ah, did you catch that? i'm trying to use more description, another thing creative writing has taught me. details and specifics helps bring the reader into the writer's life.
there's so much more to be said about what is being learned in this class but that would be an even longer post than this is already turning out to be. stay tuned for more updates and i'll probably be practicing some stuff i want to put into practice from class.
thank God for our unique creativity and our own personal stories that can not match anyone else. He INTENTIONALLY gives us our very own journey to walk through so that we can never get bored of meeting people and so that we can give Him glory in a million + more ways ;O)
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
encouragement
so i made this blog to help myself stop repressing my thoughts and feelings. and ultimately i wanted to encourage others through my learned experiences. but sometimes i just plain need to rant. then after ranting, i can go back and look at what i need to work on and how i can use my hard times as edification towards God.
things are so frustrating back at home. i can't emphasize enough how challenging it has been. someone pointed out to me that God has been paving the way for me to come back home after i graduate. i see it too and i am SO grateful for it. but amidst the blessings lie challenges and hardships. i know these are here to grow me and help me understand things in the long run.
yet...sometimes its so hard to regain perspective. this summer has been THE toughest time i've ever spent with my family. there's been arguments, yelling, disrespect, tears, hurt feelings, heartbreaking truths revealed, awkward silences, etc.
with family, this is expected to happen. no family is perfect. it's annoying because a lot of people expect my family to be perfect. they see the outside and never consider the inside. they judge based on what they know but they never consider what they do NOT know. i know i cannot blame them for not being aware but they should try to be a little more...how to say...discerning with what they say about and to my family.
i keep thinking about how after 4 years, i'm finally coming back home permanently. it's going to be a lot of change. DEFINITELY challenging. i know it won't be easy for them too. it will take a lot of adjusting.
post grads have warned me about this all the time. and i have been preparing for it cause i already knew it would happen. but be warned and prepared can't really prevent conflict and hard times from happening.
ok focusing on all of this can be depressing and bring one in such a downer mood. so i will share how music has helped me. music really is good for the soul. i don't understand how some people do not like music or don't have favorite bands or genres. music is amazing. it really does calm me or encourage me [christian music or other genres] when i am feeling down or discouraged. as i was writing this, i was listening to pandora on my Jadon Lavik station/channel. so many songs that speak directly to what i'm going through. praise God for his everlasting knowledge and understanding....and his love [the MOST powerful thing].
so much more to blog about that happened this summer but that will have to happen another time.
if you read this, please pray for me to continue holding tightly onto God, the ultimate father who never stops loving and teaching us life lessons.
things are so frustrating back at home. i can't emphasize enough how challenging it has been. someone pointed out to me that God has been paving the way for me to come back home after i graduate. i see it too and i am SO grateful for it. but amidst the blessings lie challenges and hardships. i know these are here to grow me and help me understand things in the long run.
yet...sometimes its so hard to regain perspective. this summer has been THE toughest time i've ever spent with my family. there's been arguments, yelling, disrespect, tears, hurt feelings, heartbreaking truths revealed, awkward silences, etc.
with family, this is expected to happen. no family is perfect. it's annoying because a lot of people expect my family to be perfect. they see the outside and never consider the inside. they judge based on what they know but they never consider what they do NOT know. i know i cannot blame them for not being aware but they should try to be a little more...how to say...discerning with what they say about and to my family.
i keep thinking about how after 4 years, i'm finally coming back home permanently. it's going to be a lot of change. DEFINITELY challenging. i know it won't be easy for them too. it will take a lot of adjusting.
post grads have warned me about this all the time. and i have been preparing for it cause i already knew it would happen. but be warned and prepared can't really prevent conflict and hard times from happening.
ok focusing on all of this can be depressing and bring one in such a downer mood. so i will share how music has helped me. music really is good for the soul. i don't understand how some people do not like music or don't have favorite bands or genres. music is amazing. it really does calm me or encourage me [christian music or other genres] when i am feeling down or discouraged. as i was writing this, i was listening to pandora on my Jadon Lavik station/channel. so many songs that speak directly to what i'm going through. praise God for his everlasting knowledge and understanding....and his love [the MOST powerful thing].
so much more to blog about that happened this summer but that will have to happen another time.
if you read this, please pray for me to continue holding tightly onto God, the ultimate father who never stops loving and teaching us life lessons.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
pthhh
sorry. it's another complaining post. i'm so unhappy right now. every year i don't get to go on a mission's trip, i feel so un-useful. and especially now that i'm out of ministry currently, i am feeling really useless.
i'm not sure what God is calling me to right now. there's a few things i can do like minister to the roomies but besides that, i want to be a part of something great! i want to be able to travel somewhere and meet new people in a different culture and express to them a love that only Jesus Christ could fill their lives with. i want to be able to put myself in danger for His kingdom.
right now...i'm in summer school and i totally do not feel like i am making an impact at all. school has been hard. i've been studying a LOT [at least i think it's a lot cause it's a lot more than i would ever or have ever done] and yet it seems like it hasn't really been paying off. it's so frustrating because i spend hours trying to memorize things but there's so much information that my memory cannot retain it all. i don't know how bio majors memorize all of the terms they need to. i could never.
i think i am just really frustrated right now because of school. *sigh*
Lord, please come down and give me peace. the peace that only you can fill me with. show me new ways to serve you. God, i feel so useless and lame. i need a purpose and to do something for you!! Lord, speak to my heart. show me how to listen to you and obey blindly. i love you.
i'm not sure what God is calling me to right now. there's a few things i can do like minister to the roomies but besides that, i want to be a part of something great! i want to be able to travel somewhere and meet new people in a different culture and express to them a love that only Jesus Christ could fill their lives with. i want to be able to put myself in danger for His kingdom.
right now...i'm in summer school and i totally do not feel like i am making an impact at all. school has been hard. i've been studying a LOT [at least i think it's a lot cause it's a lot more than i would ever or have ever done] and yet it seems like it hasn't really been paying off. it's so frustrating because i spend hours trying to memorize things but there's so much information that my memory cannot retain it all. i don't know how bio majors memorize all of the terms they need to. i could never.
i think i am just really frustrated right now because of school. *sigh*
Lord, please come down and give me peace. the peace that only you can fill me with. show me new ways to serve you. God, i feel so useless and lame. i need a purpose and to do something for you!! Lord, speak to my heart. show me how to listen to you and obey blindly. i love you.
Friday, August 5, 2011
pity party
there's nothing like a good 'ol pity party, huh?
it's never complete without insecurity attending.
and worst of all, satan loves watching and throwing in some spice of his own.
Lord, please keep me strong. Show me my strengths in you. Help me to overcome my weaknesses. Remind me of my identity in you and how you can work even through my failures. There are so many times where i feel unworthy and ashamed. Help me not to compare myself to others. To stay strong in who you are instead of who i am. Lord, i know you have made me for a purpose. I have had a few life defining moments and those were so sweet. They were greater than any fun experience i've ever had. Those moments were a gift from you to remind me that i am loved and that i need to show love. Please continue to break me and build me into the woman you want me to be. I will never stop being yours nor will i ever stop loving and pursuing you. Thank you for holding onto me tight and holding me close in my most vulnerable moments. You are the best daddy ever!! <3
it's never complete without insecurity attending.
and worst of all, satan loves watching and throwing in some spice of his own.
Lord, please keep me strong. Show me my strengths in you. Help me to overcome my weaknesses. Remind me of my identity in you and how you can work even through my failures. There are so many times where i feel unworthy and ashamed. Help me not to compare myself to others. To stay strong in who you are instead of who i am. Lord, i know you have made me for a purpose. I have had a few life defining moments and those were so sweet. They were greater than any fun experience i've ever had. Those moments were a gift from you to remind me that i am loved and that i need to show love. Please continue to break me and build me into the woman you want me to be. I will never stop being yours nor will i ever stop loving and pursuing you. Thank you for holding onto me tight and holding me close in my most vulnerable moments. You are the best daddy ever!! <3
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
All to Jesus I Surrender
that song...it grips my heart.
here are the lyrics:
1. All to Jesus I surrender;
all to him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust him,
in his presence daily live.
Refrain:
I surrender all, I surrender all,
all to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.
2. All to Jesus I surrender;
humbly at his feet I bow,
worldly pleasures all forsaken;
take me, Jesus, take me now.
(Refrain)
3. All to Jesus I surrender;
make me, Savior, wholly thine;
fill me with thy love and power;
truly know that thou art mine.
(Refrain)
4. All to Jesus I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to thee;
fill me with thy love and power;
let thy blessing fall on me.
(Refrain)
5. All to Jesus I surrender;
now I feel the sacred flame.
O the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to his name!
(Refrain)
God, i lay my dreams and deepest desires at your feet. I'm ready to let go. I am ready to move on and stop groveling when i don't get what i want. I know i need to stop dwelling. I have experienced your goodness and i know you truly have the best in store for me. My heart thinks it knows what is best, especially when circumstances line up. Yet God has proved time and time again that He is in control and not me nor my actions. He uses our wrong choices or disobedience for His glory as well because He is that amazing. It is that type of amazing that i want in my life. I would rather God work through my successes instead of failures.
So here's to giving God my all!!
cheers to Christ!
here are the lyrics:
1. All to Jesus I surrender;
all to him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust him,
in his presence daily live.
Refrain:
I surrender all, I surrender all,
all to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.
2. All to Jesus I surrender;
humbly at his feet I bow,
worldly pleasures all forsaken;
take me, Jesus, take me now.
(Refrain)
3. All to Jesus I surrender;
make me, Savior, wholly thine;
fill me with thy love and power;
truly know that thou art mine.
(Refrain)
4. All to Jesus I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to thee;
fill me with thy love and power;
let thy blessing fall on me.
(Refrain)
5. All to Jesus I surrender;
now I feel the sacred flame.
O the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to his name!
(Refrain)
God, i lay my dreams and deepest desires at your feet. I'm ready to let go. I am ready to move on and stop groveling when i don't get what i want. I know i need to stop dwelling. I have experienced your goodness and i know you truly have the best in store for me. My heart thinks it knows what is best, especially when circumstances line up. Yet God has proved time and time again that He is in control and not me nor my actions. He uses our wrong choices or disobedience for His glory as well because He is that amazing. It is that type of amazing that i want in my life. I would rather God work through my successes instead of failures.
So here's to giving God my all!!
cheers to Christ!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
1 year anniversary
i know...i'm one of those sentimental people who have to remember every anniversary for everything. jk. i'd say not for EVERYTHING. but today is the day, a year ago, where i first started writing in this blog. i made this blog exactly a year ago.
crazyness!! :O) i can't believe it's been a year already. it's cool to look back on my posts and see what God has and is continuing to do. the purpose of this blog was to be able to express myself in a way that is easiest for me and to encourage others with my posts. i didn't want to just get everything out or complain but i wanted to be able to record how God has been working in my life exactly- through the good times and bad.
God is continuing to mold me in so many ways. i learn new lessons everyday. things start to change once i apply them :O)
seeing God in action is an amazing thing and really eye opening.
may this blog bring God glory through what He is doing in my life!! i am encouraged by the comments or verbal opinions my readers respond to my posts :O] thanks for your dedication in reading this. or if no one is reading this, i am still blessed to be able to get everything out and look back on God's wonderfulness.
cheers to 1 year anniversary of blogging on blogger :O) !!!!
crazyness!! :O) i can't believe it's been a year already. it's cool to look back on my posts and see what God has and is continuing to do. the purpose of this blog was to be able to express myself in a way that is easiest for me and to encourage others with my posts. i didn't want to just get everything out or complain but i wanted to be able to record how God has been working in my life exactly- through the good times and bad.
God is continuing to mold me in so many ways. i learn new lessons everyday. things start to change once i apply them :O)
seeing God in action is an amazing thing and really eye opening.
may this blog bring God glory through what He is doing in my life!! i am encouraged by the comments or verbal opinions my readers respond to my posts :O] thanks for your dedication in reading this. or if no one is reading this, i am still blessed to be able to get everything out and look back on God's wonderfulness.
cheers to 1 year anniversary of blogging on blogger :O) !!!!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
the Lord reigns
God really knows best. not just knows best, but REALLY does.
this weekend i went to FECG's 2011 summer all-church retreat. it was SUCH a blessing. it was fulfilling, restoring, and delighting.
i have grown to appreciate and love my church so much over the years. i thank God so much for taking us out of EFC and challenging us by placing us into FEC. the small acronym name change compares not to the changes it has made in our lives.
this weekend, i saw our church move forward in unity. we were able to overcome intergenerational differences and to support one another in humbleness and love. people who never acknowledged me or talked to me before were suddenly conversating with me!
we were really moved by Chris Rattay's life example of following Jesus. this guy is one amazing speaker. the Lord has really given him a crazy story [or several stories within his major one] to share with many people to encourage and build them up to KEEP STRIVING for Jesus.
i've taken countless lessons out of this retreat. i have so many hopes and my passion has been refueled. i thoroughly enjoyed spending time with all of those i was able to talk to, play with, eat with, and learn with.
i have walked away with a new outlook on my life. God has restored my identity and brought me back to Him. a burden has been released. a new hope and perspective has been set into my life.
even though the weather was meltingly hot, i was happy to have my church experience what i go through and they asked me for food recommendations later which made me feel so happy to be able to help and share what i've experienced here in Riverside :O)
i love every one of my church members/attendees. from the babies to the elderly, they are ALL so precious. there are still some people that i need to work on loving but overall, i am blessed to have interaction with them.
there are 2 main points i have taken away that i really want to build into my actions and in how i respond to people.
1-Genesis 1:27 reminds us of how we are created in God's image. this means i need to start treating people as the precious beings God has made them into. i joke and tease a lot because it's something i've known for way too long. i've experienced the negative and positive effects of teasing. and lately, i've been experiencing so much of the negative effects and i'm tired of it. it's time for it to stop. this doesn't mean i'm going to be entirely serious but i want to stop joking so much. it's become a bad habit where i am hurting people unintentionally with my words because it is really true that every joke has a little truth to it. i want to break the pattern of teasing just because i ran out of other things to say or because they are teasing me. it's time to respond in love and respect. i want to be respected as well and that is the only way i can see myself working towards that goal.
2-Chris Rattay shared a story of Desmond Tutu and how he did not allow the urgent and chaos drive his agenda. He allowed God to lead him and never let anything interrupt his prayer time with the Lord. i am so inspired by that and it spoke straight to me. i am a very crazy person where i allow things i think that are important overcome my spiritual walk without realizing in the long run, it is very damaging. Chris helped me to understand by putting it into perspective of how it takes trust to rely on God and not worry about making the wrong decision. One must allow God to work through them and in order to do that, one has to set aside time to spend with the ultimate creator in silence and solitude. urgent matters can wait. if it really is an emergency, God will lead. He will speak.
praise God once again for all He has done in our hearts this weekend. it was discovered that there was a lot of spiritual warfare before the retreat began and it makes sense now because the enemy saw how God wanted to do this great thing and he tried to stop it but FAILED. God is triumphant, He is our protector.
the Lord knows best. :O] there is so much more to be said but i need to go back to studying. i just had to write this little bit out to share a glimpse of how God has been working in me.
PRAISE YOU JESUS, HALLELUJAH!!!
this weekend i went to FECG's 2011 summer all-church retreat. it was SUCH a blessing. it was fulfilling, restoring, and delighting.
i have grown to appreciate and love my church so much over the years. i thank God so much for taking us out of EFC and challenging us by placing us into FEC. the small acronym name change compares not to the changes it has made in our lives.
this weekend, i saw our church move forward in unity. we were able to overcome intergenerational differences and to support one another in humbleness and love. people who never acknowledged me or talked to me before were suddenly conversating with me!
we were really moved by Chris Rattay's life example of following Jesus. this guy is one amazing speaker. the Lord has really given him a crazy story [or several stories within his major one] to share with many people to encourage and build them up to KEEP STRIVING for Jesus.
i've taken countless lessons out of this retreat. i have so many hopes and my passion has been refueled. i thoroughly enjoyed spending time with all of those i was able to talk to, play with, eat with, and learn with.
i have walked away with a new outlook on my life. God has restored my identity and brought me back to Him. a burden has been released. a new hope and perspective has been set into my life.
even though the weather was meltingly hot, i was happy to have my church experience what i go through and they asked me for food recommendations later which made me feel so happy to be able to help and share what i've experienced here in Riverside :O)
i love every one of my church members/attendees. from the babies to the elderly, they are ALL so precious. there are still some people that i need to work on loving but overall, i am blessed to have interaction with them.
there are 2 main points i have taken away that i really want to build into my actions and in how i respond to people.
1-Genesis 1:27 reminds us of how we are created in God's image. this means i need to start treating people as the precious beings God has made them into. i joke and tease a lot because it's something i've known for way too long. i've experienced the negative and positive effects of teasing. and lately, i've been experiencing so much of the negative effects and i'm tired of it. it's time for it to stop. this doesn't mean i'm going to be entirely serious but i want to stop joking so much. it's become a bad habit where i am hurting people unintentionally with my words because it is really true that every joke has a little truth to it. i want to break the pattern of teasing just because i ran out of other things to say or because they are teasing me. it's time to respond in love and respect. i want to be respected as well and that is the only way i can see myself working towards that goal.
2-Chris Rattay shared a story of Desmond Tutu and how he did not allow the urgent and chaos drive his agenda. He allowed God to lead him and never let anything interrupt his prayer time with the Lord. i am so inspired by that and it spoke straight to me. i am a very crazy person where i allow things i think that are important overcome my spiritual walk without realizing in the long run, it is very damaging. Chris helped me to understand by putting it into perspective of how it takes trust to rely on God and not worry about making the wrong decision. One must allow God to work through them and in order to do that, one has to set aside time to spend with the ultimate creator in silence and solitude. urgent matters can wait. if it really is an emergency, God will lead. He will speak.
praise God once again for all He has done in our hearts this weekend. it was discovered that there was a lot of spiritual warfare before the retreat began and it makes sense now because the enemy saw how God wanted to do this great thing and he tried to stop it but FAILED. God is triumphant, He is our protector.
the Lord knows best. :O] there is so much more to be said but i need to go back to studying. i just had to write this little bit out to share a glimpse of how God has been working in me.
PRAISE YOU JESUS, HALLELUJAH!!!
Friday, June 24, 2011
release, surrender
ahh...blogging...it's a great release for me. i like to express myself this way because it's easier to type than write and my handwriting is not great. i can also take my time coming up with sentences and delete easily. i always express myself better in non-verbal ways.
i've been wanting to blog for a long time but...
recently, a LOT of transition has been happening. i haven't even had time to realize it or catch up with it sometimes because it was so fast and so sudden. people have come and gone...mostly are gone. and i'm left there just feeling so abandoned and with a sad heart. yet, God has never left. He also has provided me with friends who have not left and are here to stay as well. I am ever grateful for that.
as 4 years have come and gone, i knew i would have to let go of people. i also knew it would be extremely hard. i thought there would be tears. but i can't tell if it's my repression or if i'm still in shock. i think i'm still in shock. finals came and graduation hit like a rock being dropped from above. people moved out and i didn't get to say goodbye to everyone. some people are still here but only for less than 2 weeks. when i think about them leaving, it makes me really really sad.
i've grown to love these sisters and brothers for who they are and everything that comes with their package. knowing that they are leaving on their next step in life is bittersweet for me. i am so happy for them accomplishing graduation and for some of them finding jobs or getting into grad schools. yet, i can't help but have my fleshly selfish feelings come in and really miss them and hanging out with them and talking with them and having fun with them. a lot of these people also checked up on me a lot and were there for me. to know they are leaving and going to places where i can't visit because it's too far, can be depressing.
but it's during those times where i must lift myself up by reminding myself that God has them where they are at for a reason and i should just be grateful that i even had the opportunity to grow with them and from them.
part of my personality is i will always be a kid at heart. i never want to grow up. in terms of coping with change, it's always hard on me. initially i might take it well because i'm open to new things but when it starts to affect how i'm used to experiencing blessings, it takes me awhile to accept the change. it's part of the process of allowing God to daily transform me. daily is hard.
this post is mainly to the graduates at Riverside because my church graduates i will still see around, thank God :O)
another struggle is accepting that i, myself did not graduate this year. there are a lot of times where i feel shame because i stayed behind and missed out on the celebrating. i wish i could've graduated with a lot of people or on the same year but at the same time i'm blessed to have other friends to walk with next year! i also know God has me here for a purpose. sure, it's my fault i'm staying longer but God works through that as well.
it always comes down to trusting God. staying close to His heart and knowing how He works. we cannot predict but we can have faith and pray constantly. we must always grasp at the new blessings he is showering us with and to not take for granted what He is already doing in our lives amidst the chaos and sadness.
thank you Lord, for your never-ending goodness.
i've been wanting to blog for a long time but...
recently, a LOT of transition has been happening. i haven't even had time to realize it or catch up with it sometimes because it was so fast and so sudden. people have come and gone...mostly are gone. and i'm left there just feeling so abandoned and with a sad heart. yet, God has never left. He also has provided me with friends who have not left and are here to stay as well. I am ever grateful for that.
as 4 years have come and gone, i knew i would have to let go of people. i also knew it would be extremely hard. i thought there would be tears. but i can't tell if it's my repression or if i'm still in shock. i think i'm still in shock. finals came and graduation hit like a rock being dropped from above. people moved out and i didn't get to say goodbye to everyone. some people are still here but only for less than 2 weeks. when i think about them leaving, it makes me really really sad.
i've grown to love these sisters and brothers for who they are and everything that comes with their package. knowing that they are leaving on their next step in life is bittersweet for me. i am so happy for them accomplishing graduation and for some of them finding jobs or getting into grad schools. yet, i can't help but have my fleshly selfish feelings come in and really miss them and hanging out with them and talking with them and having fun with them. a lot of these people also checked up on me a lot and were there for me. to know they are leaving and going to places where i can't visit because it's too far, can be depressing.
but it's during those times where i must lift myself up by reminding myself that God has them where they are at for a reason and i should just be grateful that i even had the opportunity to grow with them and from them.
part of my personality is i will always be a kid at heart. i never want to grow up. in terms of coping with change, it's always hard on me. initially i might take it well because i'm open to new things but when it starts to affect how i'm used to experiencing blessings, it takes me awhile to accept the change. it's part of the process of allowing God to daily transform me. daily is hard.
this post is mainly to the graduates at Riverside because my church graduates i will still see around, thank God :O)
another struggle is accepting that i, myself did not graduate this year. there are a lot of times where i feel shame because i stayed behind and missed out on the celebrating. i wish i could've graduated with a lot of people or on the same year but at the same time i'm blessed to have other friends to walk with next year! i also know God has me here for a purpose. sure, it's my fault i'm staying longer but God works through that as well.
it always comes down to trusting God. staying close to His heart and knowing how He works. we cannot predict but we can have faith and pray constantly. we must always grasp at the new blessings he is showering us with and to not take for granted what He is already doing in our lives amidst the chaos and sadness.
thank you Lord, for your never-ending goodness.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
as time passes, God is more faithful and truer
having attended two end-of-the-year-banquets already, i am starting to get hit with the impending doom of graduating!!
seeing all the faces that have been a part of my life for the past 4 years, viewing old pictures, taking pictures, seeing tears, hearing speeches, exchanging words of encouragement and thanks, and keeping track of how many weeks we have left together have all contributed to my feelings of sadness and bittersweetness.
i wish i had time to spend with each person individually and thank them for how they have blessed me personally. alas, if only. this coming week is going to start the busyness with finals starting, an eventful finals week, and then summer school starting! there seems to never be time to get a breather or an extra hour of sleep.
i'm glad i am staying for another quarter because i don't have to rush all my goodbyes [except to those graduating] and i still have time to hopefully make an impact on UC Riverside's campus before leaving! That is, if it's in God's will. :O)
thank you Lord for placing me at Riverside and blessing me with all the friends and memories and experiences. You are good.
seeing all the faces that have been a part of my life for the past 4 years, viewing old pictures, taking pictures, seeing tears, hearing speeches, exchanging words of encouragement and thanks, and keeping track of how many weeks we have left together have all contributed to my feelings of sadness and bittersweetness.
i wish i had time to spend with each person individually and thank them for how they have blessed me personally. alas, if only. this coming week is going to start the busyness with finals starting, an eventful finals week, and then summer school starting! there seems to never be time to get a breather or an extra hour of sleep.
i'm glad i am staying for another quarter because i don't have to rush all my goodbyes [except to those graduating] and i still have time to hopefully make an impact on UC Riverside's campus before leaving! That is, if it's in God's will. :O)
thank you Lord for placing me at Riverside and blessing me with all the friends and memories and experiences. You are good.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
God IS a refuge
man, talk about never experiencing boredom. i'm so busy these days that i have no free time. every part of my day and weekends are packed and i can barely afford to make time for myself. everytime i make time for myself or something not on my agenda, other things get pushed back&procrastinated on. here goes!
God has been working so much in my life. i'm starting to understand more of what i've been going through. He's really been bringing me back to His love again. It makes so much sense to realize that all we need to do is just fully be involved in Him and what He has to say and then everything else will fall into place-relationships, ministry, school, etc. He has it ALL planned out and yet we still take things into our own hands and pretend we know what we're doing until we fail miserably and cry to Him about it which He still graciously listens to us. God is sweet. i love His elaborate plans.
i've forgotten what it is to reflect upon His blessings until recently. i've lost a lot of closeness because of that. so i'm going to praise Him once again for the little things:
-roommates. i'm thankful for every one of them. i miss marissa tons but we're still able to keep in touch with technology which is another blessing. max has been a HUGE blessing that i never saw coming in its full extent. she has met all of what i needed in a roommate for spring quarter and more. grace is always so much fun to bother, tease, love on, and she is so selfless. kristen also exemplifies thoroughly what it means to be selfless. she is still the baking queen and cooking mama. together, all 4 of us have great times laughing, teasing, screaming, scarying, eating, and talking. thank you God for my housemates<3
-family. i'm so thankful for my mom who sends me little texts just to keep me updated on her life and to see how i'm doing or to tell me she loves me. i can't express my appreciation for when she sends me back to r'side with food and lovingly welcomes me home with a hug everytime. she also compliments me on my clothes :O) i also am ever grateful for my older brother Joshua. he always makes me feel special everytime he sends me a random text or leaves me a facebook comment. it shows me that he thinks about me or misses me and i loved going to SD with him and listening to his music&getting music from him aha. i am also thankful for Josiah, my younger brother whom we laugh at immature things together [like voices squeaking or people tripping] or envelop ourselves so deep in our fellowships that we don't even have time for each other :Op [it's a shared experience] and i'm grateful for my dad who shows his love through acts such as fixing my many car problems [throwing tons of money down for that], taking care of my finances, and helping me with my electronics. and who can forget pepp? i love that stinker even though he doesn't feel the same way ha ha ha.
-czrilla. she's stood by me through thick and thin. i can't imagine not having her as my best friend. she's put up with my craziness, my hyperness, my being too busy to talk with her, and still checks up on me. i can be real with her. life wouldn't be the same without her.
-Epic core, servant team, and staff&attendees [and other campus Epics]. i have learned and grown SO much with them all. God has taught me so much about His character, leading, humbling myself, speaking truth, loving, and so much more. i've had the honor of getting to present the Gospel&learning how to do it, sing for worship [always wanted to do that], lead small group [always wanted to do that too], witness people grow in their walk with God [always a fun and encouraging part], i've been stretched and pushed so much out of my comfort zone and it's always left me as a stronger person. i still have SO much to learn and the journey is not over yet!
-AACF family [even those who don't attend anymore but were a part and i met them from AA], they have been there for everything. i've laughed, cried, and gotten angry with them. i've lived with them, learned from them, challenged them, prayed with them, and so much more. i've had some of the wildest adventures and most fun experiences with these guys. birthdays will always be measured up to how AA celebrated. :O) they were supportive and very few of them still come out to epic which means so much. they will always, always have a special place in my heart.
-FECG, church familia, what can i say? these people have been there from the beginning and i can always be real with them. i've gained so much insight from doing separate ministry from church at school and it's given me a deeper understanding of God in so many ways. i have ALWAYS felt welcomed back everytime i came back to church on Sunday after being absent for several months. the uncles and aunties also welcomed my friends when i'd bring them to church. i've enjoyed plenty of weddings and will continue to look forward to them. we've had intense retreats and had our times of drama which brought me closer to some of them. it's also fun sharing experiences about school and parents. church is where we know each other's families pretty well and that helps in getting to know each other better.
i could go on and on and ON of everyone and everything i'm thankful for but it's really late and i need to sleep. i just wanted to thank the gist of everyone and to point all of my earthly/spiritual accomplishments towards Christ. He enabled me to find a fellowship, start a fellowship, and at the same time, still stay connected with my church.
God is just AWESOME, leaving one with a perfectly incandescent feeling.
God has been working so much in my life. i'm starting to understand more of what i've been going through. He's really been bringing me back to His love again. It makes so much sense to realize that all we need to do is just fully be involved in Him and what He has to say and then everything else will fall into place-relationships, ministry, school, etc. He has it ALL planned out and yet we still take things into our own hands and pretend we know what we're doing until we fail miserably and cry to Him about it which He still graciously listens to us. God is sweet. i love His elaborate plans.
i've forgotten what it is to reflect upon His blessings until recently. i've lost a lot of closeness because of that. so i'm going to praise Him once again for the little things:
-roommates. i'm thankful for every one of them. i miss marissa tons but we're still able to keep in touch with technology which is another blessing. max has been a HUGE blessing that i never saw coming in its full extent. she has met all of what i needed in a roommate for spring quarter and more. grace is always so much fun to bother, tease, love on, and she is so selfless. kristen also exemplifies thoroughly what it means to be selfless. she is still the baking queen and cooking mama. together, all 4 of us have great times laughing, teasing, screaming, scarying, eating, and talking. thank you God for my housemates<3
-family. i'm so thankful for my mom who sends me little texts just to keep me updated on her life and to see how i'm doing or to tell me she loves me. i can't express my appreciation for when she sends me back to r'side with food and lovingly welcomes me home with a hug everytime. she also compliments me on my clothes :O) i also am ever grateful for my older brother Joshua. he always makes me feel special everytime he sends me a random text or leaves me a facebook comment. it shows me that he thinks about me or misses me and i loved going to SD with him and listening to his music&getting music from him aha. i am also thankful for Josiah, my younger brother whom we laugh at immature things together [like voices squeaking or people tripping] or envelop ourselves so deep in our fellowships that we don't even have time for each other :Op [it's a shared experience] and i'm grateful for my dad who shows his love through acts such as fixing my many car problems [throwing tons of money down for that], taking care of my finances, and helping me with my electronics. and who can forget pepp? i love that stinker even though he doesn't feel the same way ha ha ha.
-czrilla. she's stood by me through thick and thin. i can't imagine not having her as my best friend. she's put up with my craziness, my hyperness, my being too busy to talk with her, and still checks up on me. i can be real with her. life wouldn't be the same without her.
-Epic core, servant team, and staff&attendees [and other campus Epics]. i have learned and grown SO much with them all. God has taught me so much about His character, leading, humbling myself, speaking truth, loving, and so much more. i've had the honor of getting to present the Gospel&learning how to do it, sing for worship [always wanted to do that], lead small group [always wanted to do that too], witness people grow in their walk with God [always a fun and encouraging part], i've been stretched and pushed so much out of my comfort zone and it's always left me as a stronger person. i still have SO much to learn and the journey is not over yet!
-AACF family [even those who don't attend anymore but were a part and i met them from AA], they have been there for everything. i've laughed, cried, and gotten angry with them. i've lived with them, learned from them, challenged them, prayed with them, and so much more. i've had some of the wildest adventures and most fun experiences with these guys. birthdays will always be measured up to how AA celebrated. :O) they were supportive and very few of them still come out to epic which means so much. they will always, always have a special place in my heart.
-FECG, church familia, what can i say? these people have been there from the beginning and i can always be real with them. i've gained so much insight from doing separate ministry from church at school and it's given me a deeper understanding of God in so many ways. i have ALWAYS felt welcomed back everytime i came back to church on Sunday after being absent for several months. the uncles and aunties also welcomed my friends when i'd bring them to church. i've enjoyed plenty of weddings and will continue to look forward to them. we've had intense retreats and had our times of drama which brought me closer to some of them. it's also fun sharing experiences about school and parents. church is where we know each other's families pretty well and that helps in getting to know each other better.
i could go on and on and ON of everyone and everything i'm thankful for but it's really late and i need to sleep. i just wanted to thank the gist of everyone and to point all of my earthly/spiritual accomplishments towards Christ. He enabled me to find a fellowship, start a fellowship, and at the same time, still stay connected with my church.
God is just AWESOME, leaving one with a perfectly incandescent feeling.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
long time no post
wow. i haven't written in here for more than a month. i really wanted to write about my birthday but never had a chance. there have also been so many more events that have happened that i wanted to record and share about but time is so limited.
right now, in life, there are so many things weighing on me. responsibilities that bring me feelings of fault, reputation on the line, necessity, pressure, reminders of my incapability's&dependency, and so much more!! it's never-ending and i feel like i'm swirling around and around in a tornado of things i have to get done and decisions i have to make.
yet...
something's not right if i am feeling stressed. i am obviously not turning to God if i am relying on my own strength. it really is a constant STRUGGLE with one's flesh [in terms of battling what my desires and thoughts tell me to do verses surrendering to God my problems and allowing Him to take over].
expectations and confusion have taken over my life and i don't know what to do. and the worse part is, i have to figure it out for myself! that is the downside to free will. i can ask all the questions i want, i can listen to all the answers i can hear; but ultimately it is up to me to make the decision of deciding how to approach all the situations i am placed in. my mind likes to play games with me and i bet a big part is satan whispering lies into my brain as well. i don't know where i'd be without the Lord and those who pray for me. i'm probably not even making sense to whoever is reading this.
it's hard sharing about my life because i feel like i'm being judged. for example, i want to write about this weekend and how i went to 2 birthday parties and one bridal shower. but i know people are going to make comments like "oh wow you're so popular. you get invited to everything" or "you're always so busy! you never have time for me" and etc. people NEVER consider how those comments make me feel. they hurt. they make me sad because the fact that those had to be said shows that the person does not really know how much i care about them and that i'm not trying to brag, and i'm not trying to avoid them, but i just committed to other things first or i really just wanted to share about what i did. and by the way, i still never know how to respond to the comment when people say i'm popular. if i say no, i'd be lying. if i say yes, i'd be conceited. what is the correct response that can be accepted??
a lot of times when people make those comments, they're joking. people can joke, but i think it is true that when people are joking, half of the time it is serious. that's the danger of joking and teasing. it also can be misinterpreted in many ways.
anywho, i've also been averaging 6 hours every night of sleep. that may sound like a lot to some of you but that is not nearly enough for me. i think i need at least 7 or 8 [or maybe even 9]. trust me, an hour makes a difference to my body. anywho, everything that has been piling up-figuring out graduation plans, summer school plans, and even summer plans in general has been so much to think about while still balancing school, ministry, friends, family, personal health [i always do a poor job at this one] etc.
i can't figure out of the problem is me overcommitting to things or if it's just not knowing what to commit to. i need more Jesus time. i've allowed everything to overcome me instead of allowing Christ overcome me.
time to reverse things. please pray for me. i feel like i've only begun to grasp a few sand-rocks-full of knowledge of God [that's exciting and discouraging at the same time. exciting cause there's so much more to know&one can never get tired of learning about Him. discouraging because it's been 4 years since i started to take my walk more seriously and i still have not obtained as much knowledge as i thought i had or wished for].
right now, in life, there are so many things weighing on me. responsibilities that bring me feelings of fault, reputation on the line, necessity, pressure, reminders of my incapability's&dependency, and so much more!! it's never-ending and i feel like i'm swirling around and around in a tornado of things i have to get done and decisions i have to make.
yet...
something's not right if i am feeling stressed. i am obviously not turning to God if i am relying on my own strength. it really is a constant STRUGGLE with one's flesh [in terms of battling what my desires and thoughts tell me to do verses surrendering to God my problems and allowing Him to take over].
expectations and confusion have taken over my life and i don't know what to do. and the worse part is, i have to figure it out for myself! that is the downside to free will. i can ask all the questions i want, i can listen to all the answers i can hear; but ultimately it is up to me to make the decision of deciding how to approach all the situations i am placed in. my mind likes to play games with me and i bet a big part is satan whispering lies into my brain as well. i don't know where i'd be without the Lord and those who pray for me. i'm probably not even making sense to whoever is reading this.
it's hard sharing about my life because i feel like i'm being judged. for example, i want to write about this weekend and how i went to 2 birthday parties and one bridal shower. but i know people are going to make comments like "oh wow you're so popular. you get invited to everything" or "you're always so busy! you never have time for me" and etc. people NEVER consider how those comments make me feel. they hurt. they make me sad because the fact that those had to be said shows that the person does not really know how much i care about them and that i'm not trying to brag, and i'm not trying to avoid them, but i just committed to other things first or i really just wanted to share about what i did. and by the way, i still never know how to respond to the comment when people say i'm popular. if i say no, i'd be lying. if i say yes, i'd be conceited. what is the correct response that can be accepted??
a lot of times when people make those comments, they're joking. people can joke, but i think it is true that when people are joking, half of the time it is serious. that's the danger of joking and teasing. it also can be misinterpreted in many ways.
anywho, i've also been averaging 6 hours every night of sleep. that may sound like a lot to some of you but that is not nearly enough for me. i think i need at least 7 or 8 [or maybe even 9]. trust me, an hour makes a difference to my body. anywho, everything that has been piling up-figuring out graduation plans, summer school plans, and even summer plans in general has been so much to think about while still balancing school, ministry, friends, family, personal health [i always do a poor job at this one] etc.
i can't figure out of the problem is me overcommitting to things or if it's just not knowing what to commit to. i need more Jesus time. i've allowed everything to overcome me instead of allowing Christ overcome me.
time to reverse things. please pray for me. i feel like i've only begun to grasp a few sand-rocks-full of knowledge of God [that's exciting and discouraging at the same time. exciting cause there's so much more to know&one can never get tired of learning about Him. discouraging because it's been 4 years since i started to take my walk more seriously and i still have not obtained as much knowledge as i thought i had or wished for].
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Hallelujah!!! God is so amazing and good. :O]
all the words i use can never express or describe God's greatness. so the ones you are about to read will have to suffice.
I love having winter break and spring break. All these breaks not only provide rest, rejuvenation, and catching up with home friends, but i learn so much more about God and get to bring back what i've learned and share it.
The catching up with friends is probably my favorite though. I have been so blessed with friends who are still willing to talk to me even when i'm so bad at keeping in touch when i'm gone in Riverside. They are such blessings in my life that make me feel so special and encourage me so much!! I thoroughly enjoy catching up with them and seeing what God has been doing in their lives and how He has been using them at their schools or work or whatever else. it's great to have home friends. <3333
another aspect i am super grateful for is my church. i feel that no matter how long i am gone from my home church, they always welcome me back with open arms! i can't help but always feel hesitant before stepping back into my church grounds, not knowing what to expect. but from the moment i do, i do not regret it and appreciate the sight of faces&the environment i've missed!!
it's so refreshing coming back after returning from Riverside where i church hop like mad and have never found just one church that i can settle in for the past 4 years.
i thank God for FEC Glendale. <33
lastly, the other thing i am super grateful for is this past Winter quarter!! It has been one of THE most busiest, challenging, and chaotic quarters of my college career. Yet, i've shared in many blessings and grown because of it. But the part i am most thankful and joyous about is my grades!!!! i've never done so well before and it happened in WINTER quarter! how odd!! that's the quarter that is always the hardest to succeed. just shows how God can do the impossible as always :O) i really did work harder than usual in my academics and it paid off so i am very glad about that! it inspires me to work harder ahah. my downfall has always been balancing things [school, ministry, social life, etc].
it also helped that my classes were super interesting: Jewish Americans, Racism in Western Society, and Organized Crime. that made reading very intriguing and sometimes entertaining.
yay winter qtr 2011! <3
oh Lord, thank you once again for your mercies and love. i am humbled and amazed.
my next goal:
"Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness." Romans 6:13
i need to work on my laziness and slothness :Op
stay tuned for more God happenings!! :O]
I love having winter break and spring break. All these breaks not only provide rest, rejuvenation, and catching up with home friends, but i learn so much more about God and get to bring back what i've learned and share it.
The catching up with friends is probably my favorite though. I have been so blessed with friends who are still willing to talk to me even when i'm so bad at keeping in touch when i'm gone in Riverside. They are such blessings in my life that make me feel so special and encourage me so much!! I thoroughly enjoy catching up with them and seeing what God has been doing in their lives and how He has been using them at their schools or work or whatever else. it's great to have home friends. <3333
another aspect i am super grateful for is my church. i feel that no matter how long i am gone from my home church, they always welcome me back with open arms! i can't help but always feel hesitant before stepping back into my church grounds, not knowing what to expect. but from the moment i do, i do not regret it and appreciate the sight of faces&the environment i've missed!!
it's so refreshing coming back after returning from Riverside where i church hop like mad and have never found just one church that i can settle in for the past 4 years.
i thank God for FEC Glendale. <33
lastly, the other thing i am super grateful for is this past Winter quarter!! It has been one of THE most busiest, challenging, and chaotic quarters of my college career. Yet, i've shared in many blessings and grown because of it. But the part i am most thankful and joyous about is my grades!!!! i've never done so well before and it happened in WINTER quarter! how odd!! that's the quarter that is always the hardest to succeed. just shows how God can do the impossible as always :O) i really did work harder than usual in my academics and it paid off so i am very glad about that! it inspires me to work harder ahah. my downfall has always been balancing things [school, ministry, social life, etc].
it also helped that my classes were super interesting: Jewish Americans, Racism in Western Society, and Organized Crime. that made reading very intriguing and sometimes entertaining.
yay winter qtr 2011! <3
oh Lord, thank you once again for your mercies and love. i am humbled and amazed.
my next goal:
"Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness." Romans 6:13
i need to work on my laziness and slothness :Op
stay tuned for more God happenings!! :O]
Sunday, March 6, 2011
college crisis
it's finally happened...
i've been dreading it for awhile and have had 3 years to prepare for it. but it wasn't enough for the weight of it all...
i have finally hit my pre-grad crisis. i feel like EVERYTHING is changing. nothing is constant.
the ONLY thing that has stayed consistent in my life is Jesus Christ. I would be even more a mess without Him.
I shouldn't even be in a mess but my flesh takes over from time to time. it's shameful and stressful.
everything that is changing: housing situation, relationships, school, FUTURE, and so much more!!!! gahhhhhh.
for the longest time i was feeling confused, uncertain [still am], frustrated, and sad cause i could not figure out things i needed to. i look at the people who have their lives figured out and feel tinges of jealousy. i would also look at people who don't have their lives figured out like me and want to connect with them but at the same time not wanting to get lost in their confusion as well. i still am going through a huge uncertainty phase but going to AACF's breakfast club and reflecting on the passage Willyhelm had us read helped me so much--->Psalm 1:3
"He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."
i had personal interpretations of each phrase but the one that helped me and stuck out the most was "which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither, whatever he does prospers"
i see the season part referring to how we will have different seasons in our lives and mine right now is confusion. it's ok to be confused right now.
i also like the part where it says whose leaf does not wither because i see that as me needing to sustain my walk so that my spiritual walk will not wither.
and the whatever he does prospers part speaks to me about how God's plans for me are ALL good. so even the hard times are there for my own benefit. i need to trust Him and realize that He is ultimately in control even when it feels like things are out of place.
that same saturday, i also went to my church's Women's Tea where the speaker Georgette O' Brian spoke about the Power of Prayer and reminded us to go back to our first love-God. it's such a sweet reminder and she gave a personal testimony that really reminded me of God's love for me and that He really does answer all my prayers.
God is a good God. Run to Him cause i GUARANTEE you, He will not let you down [if you think He is, then you are misinterpreting the situation and are not reading the Word. seek encouragement from your brothers&sisters].
Smile, Jesus loves you. :O)
i've been dreading it for awhile and have had 3 years to prepare for it. but it wasn't enough for the weight of it all...
i have finally hit my pre-grad crisis. i feel like EVERYTHING is changing. nothing is constant.
the ONLY thing that has stayed consistent in my life is Jesus Christ. I would be even more a mess without Him.
I shouldn't even be in a mess but my flesh takes over from time to time. it's shameful and stressful.
everything that is changing: housing situation, relationships, school, FUTURE, and so much more!!!! gahhhhhh.
for the longest time i was feeling confused, uncertain [still am], frustrated, and sad cause i could not figure out things i needed to. i look at the people who have their lives figured out and feel tinges of jealousy. i would also look at people who don't have their lives figured out like me and want to connect with them but at the same time not wanting to get lost in their confusion as well. i still am going through a huge uncertainty phase but going to AACF's breakfast club and reflecting on the passage Willyhelm had us read helped me so much--->Psalm 1:3
"He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."
i had personal interpretations of each phrase but the one that helped me and stuck out the most was "which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither, whatever he does prospers"
i see the season part referring to how we will have different seasons in our lives and mine right now is confusion. it's ok to be confused right now.
i also like the part where it says whose leaf does not wither because i see that as me needing to sustain my walk so that my spiritual walk will not wither.
and the whatever he does prospers part speaks to me about how God's plans for me are ALL good. so even the hard times are there for my own benefit. i need to trust Him and realize that He is ultimately in control even when it feels like things are out of place.
that same saturday, i also went to my church's Women's Tea where the speaker Georgette O' Brian spoke about the Power of Prayer and reminded us to go back to our first love-God. it's such a sweet reminder and she gave a personal testimony that really reminded me of God's love for me and that He really does answer all my prayers.
God is a good God. Run to Him cause i GUARANTEE you, He will not let you down [if you think He is, then you are misinterpreting the situation and are not reading the Word. seek encouragement from your brothers&sisters].
Smile, Jesus loves you. :O)
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
God-glorious, creator, and loving
"You care for the land and water it; you enrich it abundantly. The streams of God are filled with water to provide the people with grain, for so you have ordained it." Psalm 65:9
When the Lord blesses us with responsibilities, it's easy to accept it and forget that we are not the one who makes all the calls. We take over and forget to submit to our master. Things then begin to turn sour and we start to feel hopeless.
This verse is a good reminder that God ordained and created it in the first place, so He had it under His control the whole time and the hard times we go through are him "watering it" because He is enriching it through trials which can make us stronger.
"But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. So that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." 1 Corinthians 12:12-27
Unity cannot be stressed enough. God created us to work together and to be different so that we compliment one another. When we are going through struggles, we need to share that with the other parts of the body so that we can support one another, bear each other's burdens. If you are honored, do not take it all in but share it with your brothers and sisters so that they can rejoice with you&so not all the praise goes to you.
The part i would stress the most is if you are suffering, you MUST share it with your brothers or sisters because it can affect them and they won't know why until you confess or things get worse.
That is the beauty of being a body of Christ. We don't have to go through life alone and God always guides us.
praise God for his love and direction. May His glory abound in our lives!!
When the Lord blesses us with responsibilities, it's easy to accept it and forget that we are not the one who makes all the calls. We take over and forget to submit to our master. Things then begin to turn sour and we start to feel hopeless.
This verse is a good reminder that God ordained and created it in the first place, so He had it under His control the whole time and the hard times we go through are him "watering it" because He is enriching it through trials which can make us stronger.
"But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. So that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." 1 Corinthians 12:12-27
Unity cannot be stressed enough. God created us to work together and to be different so that we compliment one another. When we are going through struggles, we need to share that with the other parts of the body so that we can support one another, bear each other's burdens. If you are honored, do not take it all in but share it with your brothers and sisters so that they can rejoice with you&so not all the praise goes to you.
The part i would stress the most is if you are suffering, you MUST share it with your brothers or sisters because it can affect them and they won't know why until you confess or things get worse.
That is the beauty of being a body of Christ. We don't have to go through life alone and God always guides us.
praise God for his love and direction. May His glory abound in our lives!!
Monday, February 21, 2011
intensity...it only builds up!
well then, things are always non-stop in my life. in a way it's good cause it gives me something to do, sometimes keeps me productive, don't have to deal with boredom, and i value time more.
the negative effects are not getting enough rest, falling behind in other things, neglecting people i don't mean to, and not taking care of myself [like not having time to eat right or exercise].
it is SO hard to balance everything. the Lord knows i need Him.
so there's been a lot of events going on in my life. not too many significant events but a lot of searching and pursuing that leads to significant events.
this past saturday morning, i went to a Bat Mitzvah. It was a very enjoyable service [although it was THREE HOURS long!!!]. This was my second time going to a Jewish service and first time going to a bat mitzvah. i really enjoy Temple Beth El's cantors because they have lovely voices, the congregates are very welcoming&personal, the temple is really pretty [especially the ark center stage], hearing hebrew is a blessing, and seeing their dedication and organization is really enjoyable.
Also, the temple i went to is a reform temple so they have a female rabbi and their dress code is not extremely strict.
at the Bat Mitzvah, i saw my professor and it was kind of a weird experience seeing him outside of school. He noticed right away that Beverly and Jasmine were not in his class [they came with me to observe a Jewish service because for their ethnic studies class they needed to write a report as well] which was kind of bad cause i told them to pose as his students. The reason for that is because Carolee, the Bat Mitzvah-ian, was the speaker who came to our class and invited our class to come to her Bat Mitzvah. i was the only one who went up to her afterwards to ask about details of her Bat Mitzvah and she was so welcoming and friendly and when i went up to her after her Bat Mitzvah service was over, i explained how i was from the class that she came to a month ago and she was SO HAPPY that someone from the class actually came! she couldn't believe someone would come and did not expect it. it was great to receive her hug and big thankful smile :O)
one could tell she was really loved because according to the rabbi, they haven't had such huge attendance since the high holidays ahaha. and so many people prepared for her many gifts and presentations and really expressed their care and love.
at the closing song, we did a little Jewish jig with them by putting our arms around each other, side to side, and then rocking back and forth and adding a little kicking to the sides by switching off. it was fun :O) the lady next to me explained how it was done. it was funny cause jasmine, beverly, and i were the only asian girls so people could tell right away we stuck out. one of the guys sitting in front turned around and said "don't worry, it's almost over!" hahah he was referring to the service because it had already been 2.5+ hours. not to mention i was freezing from wearing a dress [my professor said to wear a dress and to cover our shoulders].
there was this one part where Carolee carried the scrolls and marched around the room while dancing and sort of formed a conga line behind her. it was sooo funny to watch and totally fit the Jewish cliche. if i had known her and the people around me better, i so would've wanted to join in on the dancing :O) it was so lively and looked like so much fun!!
in the end, i was really glad i got to go and experience such an amazing service. it was realllly interesting and i enjoyed it a lot. i would recommend for everyone to attend a Jewish service if you get the opportunity. it's very intriguing.
-switching subjects, i finally found a church again! God has been very patient with me on my journey towards finding a perfect church that will grow, challenge, and encourage me at the same time. i've realized throughout my constant 4-year search for a church that i will never find the perfect church in Riverside. the thing is, i'm already set to commit to my home church but i can't do that until i move back home. therefore, i must find a temporary church in Riverside while i'm away at college. but it has been quite the difficult challenge in finding one. there is always a switch off where i might like worship but not the message, or the message is good but worship is too showy or too old styled. i've finally realized i need to compromise and the message is way more important than the worship. so i am going to stick with Cornerstone for now because it's messages are very Biblically grounded and that is something i need right now. It's a bonus to have a lot of my close friends attending as well so i get to fellowship&eat with them afterwards. i also can carpool :O) but i really enjoy the size of cornerstone and their focus is so intent on the Gospel, it's really encouraging and gives one passion and brings one back to the purpose of our worship.
aside from church, ministry has been difficult. it is keeping me on my toes. i feel like i experience highs and lows in a very inconsistent way that i just can't seem to get out of. but i am trusting that everything that happens is for my&everyone else's own good and God has it all planned out.
i've been spending more time hanging out with Epic people and it's been very enjoyable. i love getting to know them better and spending time with them. we have many a good laughs and fun :O]
i truly miss my homies back in Irvine. i have not been able to visit them at all this year and it makes me so sad. i've just been really busy and am trying to prioritize which sadly irvine's epic is not up there. but those people will always have a special place in my heart.slo, uc davis, etc are awesome!!
i've really enjoyed that we started up small groups and i have been so blessed by not having to lead, getting to know the girls better, and diving into the Bible with other sisters!! i have MISSED Bible study so much. i really love asking questions, getting opinions, and discussing our different views of what we interpret. God is so amazing and we can never learn everything about Him. small groups also provides more accountability which i am always lacking so i truly appreciate it!
because Epic has been so busy with the servant team, small groups, events, and so many meetings to attend, i've been having less time for other ministries like the LGBT ministry with Marissa and Grace.
We still pray for the LGBT community but there has been no recent events that we attended or could attend. things have just felt like it's been placed on hold for now as we continue to seek direction from God. i so desperately want to make friends with a member of the LGBT community from campus!! i'm looking for opportunities and continuing to pray for them. may God hear us out.
it is such a blessing to be able to serve God, be loved by Him, and pass His love on to others :O]
ministry has grown me so much not only spiritually but as a person and my character. i've learned endurance, trust, genuine seeking&connecting with God, and so much more!! i would recommend serving to every christian college student because it really stretches and grows you. you experience God in a different way and are blessed beyond belief as long as you obey.
aside from ministry&friendships, there is school. ai yai yai. school has always been like a sword in me that will stay on my side. aha i know that made no sense. but i have always had so many difficulties academically. God has been gracious to me over and over again and never denies me mercy.
i am slowly working my way towards finding an internship. i really think it will be beneficial for experience, my resume, and to get a better grasp of where God wants me.
i'm so thankful for the resources UCR provides like talking to counselors and going to workshops. they have endless resources! i do not know exactly what kind of internship i want to go into but i just want to find one. once again, got to trust the Lord with that!
it is now late. i am tired. but tonight was a fun night [and day for that matter]. i enjoyed cornerstone, hanging out with certain people, and playing a game that just produced laughing so much and hard that my stomach hurt and felt like i went through an ab attack session!! fellowship is a great blessing God has given us. :O) yay for target, costco, winco, and mall shopping all in one day!! kristen is my homey that is just one of the most awesome shopping buddies :O]
may my posts glorify God, keep you guys updated on my life, and help me to process things as i write them out.
God is good!!! all the time!!! :OD
the negative effects are not getting enough rest, falling behind in other things, neglecting people i don't mean to, and not taking care of myself [like not having time to eat right or exercise].
it is SO hard to balance everything. the Lord knows i need Him.
so there's been a lot of events going on in my life. not too many significant events but a lot of searching and pursuing that leads to significant events.
this past saturday morning, i went to a Bat Mitzvah. It was a very enjoyable service [although it was THREE HOURS long!!!]. This was my second time going to a Jewish service and first time going to a bat mitzvah. i really enjoy Temple Beth El's cantors because they have lovely voices, the congregates are very welcoming&personal, the temple is really pretty [especially the ark center stage], hearing hebrew is a blessing, and seeing their dedication and organization is really enjoyable.
Also, the temple i went to is a reform temple so they have a female rabbi and their dress code is not extremely strict.
at the Bat Mitzvah, i saw my professor and it was kind of a weird experience seeing him outside of school. He noticed right away that Beverly and Jasmine were not in his class [they came with me to observe a Jewish service because for their ethnic studies class they needed to write a report as well] which was kind of bad cause i told them to pose as his students. The reason for that is because Carolee, the Bat Mitzvah-ian, was the speaker who came to our class and invited our class to come to her Bat Mitzvah. i was the only one who went up to her afterwards to ask about details of her Bat Mitzvah and she was so welcoming and friendly and when i went up to her after her Bat Mitzvah service was over, i explained how i was from the class that she came to a month ago and she was SO HAPPY that someone from the class actually came! she couldn't believe someone would come and did not expect it. it was great to receive her hug and big thankful smile :O)
one could tell she was really loved because according to the rabbi, they haven't had such huge attendance since the high holidays ahaha. and so many people prepared for her many gifts and presentations and really expressed their care and love.
at the closing song, we did a little Jewish jig with them by putting our arms around each other, side to side, and then rocking back and forth and adding a little kicking to the sides by switching off. it was fun :O) the lady next to me explained how it was done. it was funny cause jasmine, beverly, and i were the only asian girls so people could tell right away we stuck out. one of the guys sitting in front turned around and said "don't worry, it's almost over!" hahah he was referring to the service because it had already been 2.5+ hours. not to mention i was freezing from wearing a dress [my professor said to wear a dress and to cover our shoulders].
there was this one part where Carolee carried the scrolls and marched around the room while dancing and sort of formed a conga line behind her. it was sooo funny to watch and totally fit the Jewish cliche. if i had known her and the people around me better, i so would've wanted to join in on the dancing :O) it was so lively and looked like so much fun!!
in the end, i was really glad i got to go and experience such an amazing service. it was realllly interesting and i enjoyed it a lot. i would recommend for everyone to attend a Jewish service if you get the opportunity. it's very intriguing.
-switching subjects, i finally found a church again! God has been very patient with me on my journey towards finding a perfect church that will grow, challenge, and encourage me at the same time. i've realized throughout my constant 4-year search for a church that i will never find the perfect church in Riverside. the thing is, i'm already set to commit to my home church but i can't do that until i move back home. therefore, i must find a temporary church in Riverside while i'm away at college. but it has been quite the difficult challenge in finding one. there is always a switch off where i might like worship but not the message, or the message is good but worship is too showy or too old styled. i've finally realized i need to compromise and the message is way more important than the worship. so i am going to stick with Cornerstone for now because it's messages are very Biblically grounded and that is something i need right now. It's a bonus to have a lot of my close friends attending as well so i get to fellowship&eat with them afterwards. i also can carpool :O) but i really enjoy the size of cornerstone and their focus is so intent on the Gospel, it's really encouraging and gives one passion and brings one back to the purpose of our worship.
aside from church, ministry has been difficult. it is keeping me on my toes. i feel like i experience highs and lows in a very inconsistent way that i just can't seem to get out of. but i am trusting that everything that happens is for my&everyone else's own good and God has it all planned out.
i've been spending more time hanging out with Epic people and it's been very enjoyable. i love getting to know them better and spending time with them. we have many a good laughs and fun :O]
i truly miss my homies back in Irvine. i have not been able to visit them at all this year and it makes me so sad. i've just been really busy and am trying to prioritize which sadly irvine's epic is not up there. but those people will always have a special place in my heart.
i've really enjoyed that we started up small groups and i have been so blessed by not having to lead, getting to know the girls better, and diving into the Bible with other sisters!! i have MISSED Bible study so much. i really love asking questions, getting opinions, and discussing our different views of what we interpret. God is so amazing and we can never learn everything about Him. small groups also provides more accountability which i am always lacking so i truly appreciate it!
because Epic has been so busy with the servant team, small groups, events, and so many meetings to attend, i've been having less time for other ministries like the LGBT ministry with Marissa and Grace.
We still pray for the LGBT community but there has been no recent events that we attended or could attend. things have just felt like it's been placed on hold for now as we continue to seek direction from God. i so desperately want to make friends with a member of the LGBT community from campus!! i'm looking for opportunities and continuing to pray for them. may God hear us out.
it is such a blessing to be able to serve God, be loved by Him, and pass His love on to others :O]
ministry has grown me so much not only spiritually but as a person and my character. i've learned endurance, trust, genuine seeking&connecting with God, and so much more!! i would recommend serving to every christian college student because it really stretches and grows you. you experience God in a different way and are blessed beyond belief as long as you obey.
aside from ministry&friendships, there is school. ai yai yai. school has always been like a sword in me that will stay on my side. aha i know that made no sense. but i have always had so many difficulties academically. God has been gracious to me over and over again and never denies me mercy.
i am slowly working my way towards finding an internship. i really think it will be beneficial for experience, my resume, and to get a better grasp of where God wants me.
i'm so thankful for the resources UCR provides like talking to counselors and going to workshops. they have endless resources! i do not know exactly what kind of internship i want to go into but i just want to find one. once again, got to trust the Lord with that!
it is now late. i am tired. but tonight was a fun night [and day for that matter]. i enjoyed cornerstone, hanging out with certain people, and playing a game that just produced laughing so much and hard that my stomach hurt and felt like i went through an ab attack session!! fellowship is a great blessing God has given us. :O) yay for target, costco, winco, and mall shopping all in one day!! kristen is my homey that is just one of the most awesome shopping buddies :O]
may my posts glorify God, keep you guys updated on my life, and help me to process things as i write them out.
God is good!!! all the time!!! :OD
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
sustained obedience
there has been so much going on in my life that the Lord is doing. i have been wanting to write a post for awhile but haven't found the time. time is so precious and i'm still learning to use it wisely. i never thought i'd ever be so busy and would be able to handle it. but it's true, with God anything is possible :O]
AACF winter retreat was this past weekend. God had me go for a reason. one of the messages that was on saturday night, spoke straight to my heart. everything i came to the retreat with and was struggling with was addressed in that message. i understand what it feels like when people say "i felt like the message was JUST for me." it sounds selfish but yet God really does intend for us to encounter things for a reason. even when i wanted to ask for prayer&hesitated, the worship leader said "and if anyone needs or wants prayer now, don't hesitate to ask someone. don't be afraid." and that just made me think "oh dang!! he's talking to me!!"
and so i got to pray with marissa and it was sweet and true fellowship. being able to share each other's burdens, weep together, laugh together, and to come before God together was beautiful.
the message offered encouragement and affirmation for me. the week before was SO intense and a little discouraging that i felt everything was falling apart and that all my energy and time invested was in vain. but God spoke to me through the speaker [Brian Chang] and told me to have sustained obedience and to work hard because it will be worth a lot more later than it is now. and something else that was really powerful was when he said "everything that happens in this world is for our own good." it was really interesting how the speaker used Haggai to speak to us and gave us his perspective on it. his interpretation was really helpful.
i also experienced a lot of true fellowship at retreat through-foosball games [even though it got competitive hehe], worship, moi time [one on ones], small groups, early morning prayer meetings, meals in the cafeteria, snowball fights, taking pictures, and the best part was at the end where Wil had everyone circle up and we sang "I Love You Lord" 4 times. the 1st time was everyone together, 2nd time was the girls while the guys prayed for their sisters, 3rd time was the guys while the girls prayed for their brothers, and 4th time was all together. it was SO beautiful!!
AACF has continually been a blessing in my life and even if i don't make it out all the time to large group meetings or events, AACF will always have a place in my heart and is already stamped in my past as a part that has grown me so much. I value the brothers and sisters in that fellowship so much. God has blessed me countlessly with their lives and interaction.
"but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me...Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:12-14
"in fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted" 2 Timothy 3:12
"Instead, you ought to say,'if it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.'" James 4:15
"But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it-he will be blessed in what he does." James 1:25
those are just a few verses that spoke to me. the Lord is faithful and he hears you. If you're going through a hard time where it seems impossible to press on, be encouraged in knowing he understands your anguish and frustration. He loves you and is there with you. that is the most important part, you are not alone.
praise God!!
AACF winter retreat was this past weekend. God had me go for a reason. one of the messages that was on saturday night, spoke straight to my heart. everything i came to the retreat with and was struggling with was addressed in that message. i understand what it feels like when people say "i felt like the message was JUST for me." it sounds selfish but yet God really does intend for us to encounter things for a reason. even when i wanted to ask for prayer&hesitated, the worship leader said "and if anyone needs or wants prayer now, don't hesitate to ask someone. don't be afraid." and that just made me think "oh dang!! he's talking to me!!"
and so i got to pray with marissa and it was sweet and true fellowship. being able to share each other's burdens, weep together, laugh together, and to come before God together was beautiful.
the message offered encouragement and affirmation for me. the week before was SO intense and a little discouraging that i felt everything was falling apart and that all my energy and time invested was in vain. but God spoke to me through the speaker [Brian Chang] and told me to have sustained obedience and to work hard because it will be worth a lot more later than it is now. and something else that was really powerful was when he said "everything that happens in this world is for our own good." it was really interesting how the speaker used Haggai to speak to us and gave us his perspective on it. his interpretation was really helpful.
i also experienced a lot of true fellowship at retreat through-foosball games [even though it got competitive hehe], worship, moi time [one on ones], small groups, early morning prayer meetings, meals in the cafeteria, snowball fights, taking pictures, and the best part was at the end where Wil had everyone circle up and we sang "I Love You Lord" 4 times. the 1st time was everyone together, 2nd time was the girls while the guys prayed for their sisters, 3rd time was the guys while the girls prayed for their brothers, and 4th time was all together. it was SO beautiful!!
AACF has continually been a blessing in my life and even if i don't make it out all the time to large group meetings or events, AACF will always have a place in my heart and is already stamped in my past as a part that has grown me so much. I value the brothers and sisters in that fellowship so much. God has blessed me countlessly with their lives and interaction.
"but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me...Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:12-14
"in fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted" 2 Timothy 3:12
"Instead, you ought to say,'if it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.'" James 4:15
"But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it-he will be blessed in what he does." James 1:25
those are just a few verses that spoke to me. the Lord is faithful and he hears you. If you're going through a hard time where it seems impossible to press on, be encouraged in knowing he understands your anguish and frustration. He loves you and is there with you. that is the most important part, you are not alone.
praise God!!
Friday, January 28, 2011
consider me blessed :O]
so most people would think having their tire blow on the freeway is a bad thing, right?
welllll, i don't know if i'd see it that way. at first, i did. it is frustrating to have car problems 3 times within 2 quarters. but now, after reflecting more and more, i see it as a good thing. a good thing in a way that it is a challenge God has given me to test me, keep me awake&alert spiritually, and to be able to taste of his delightful goodness afterwards [that's the best part].
the crazy part is during the whole thing, i did not freak out or get as anxious as i usually would. i felt peace and it helped having lori in the car with me. ignorance also really is bliss because at first i thought i had ran over something or had accidentally hit something but i really didn't know until i exited and lori looked out the rearview mirror and saw i had no tire! and we saw it smoking. but seriously, the only time i started to freak a little was when we were exiting and the car was massively shaking. yet, deep down i knew everything was going to be okay. and the fact that we exited safely was also a miracle. it all was in His hands and perfectly planned. because my tire blew out halfway to moreno valley and the exit wasn't far so i didn't have too much traveling to do in order to pull over on the side of the road instead of the freeway.
and another positive thing is i feel i am learning more things about cards amidst all my car troubles/problems. :Op
but lori and i were actually laughing cause of disbelief and we just knew it'd be ok.
we were on the side of the road for at least an hour and during that whole time, only one guy stopped to see if we were ok. bless his soul. i mean we had help on the way but it was just interesting to have only one person stop out of all the cars [there were a lot] that passed by us.
another thing i learned is to appreciate my brothers and sisters ten times more when they are there to check up on me, offer help, give encouragement, and call or text to see how i'm doing. it really means a lot to me. i feel like i am really taken care of :O)
so tomorrow starts another crazy journey as i have to drive my car on the spare [and other bad tires] to go home to get it fixed there. please pray for me to make it there safely. i'm a little nervous but once again am sure it's in God's hands.
PRAISE be to our Lord and Savior who always, always provides.
amen.
welllll, i don't know if i'd see it that way. at first, i did. it is frustrating to have car problems 3 times within 2 quarters. but now, after reflecting more and more, i see it as a good thing. a good thing in a way that it is a challenge God has given me to test me, keep me awake&alert spiritually, and to be able to taste of his delightful goodness afterwards [that's the best part].
the crazy part is during the whole thing, i did not freak out or get as anxious as i usually would. i felt peace and it helped having lori in the car with me. ignorance also really is bliss because at first i thought i had ran over something or had accidentally hit something but i really didn't know until i exited and lori looked out the rearview mirror and saw i had no tire! and we saw it smoking. but seriously, the only time i started to freak a little was when we were exiting and the car was massively shaking. yet, deep down i knew everything was going to be okay. and the fact that we exited safely was also a miracle. it all was in His hands and perfectly planned. because my tire blew out halfway to moreno valley and the exit wasn't far so i didn't have too much traveling to do in order to pull over on the side of the road instead of the freeway.
and another positive thing is i feel i am learning more things about cards amidst all my car troubles/problems. :Op
but lori and i were actually laughing cause of disbelief and we just knew it'd be ok.
we were on the side of the road for at least an hour and during that whole time, only one guy stopped to see if we were ok. bless his soul. i mean we had help on the way but it was just interesting to have only one person stop out of all the cars [there were a lot] that passed by us.
another thing i learned is to appreciate my brothers and sisters ten times more when they are there to check up on me, offer help, give encouragement, and call or text to see how i'm doing. it really means a lot to me. i feel like i am really taken care of :O)
so tomorrow starts another crazy journey as i have to drive my car on the spare [and other bad tires] to go home to get it fixed there. please pray for me to make it there safely. i'm a little nervous but once again am sure it's in God's hands.
PRAISE be to our Lord and Savior who always, always provides.
amen.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
my favorite part is when the wheels touch the ground
i hate flying. i get airsick and feel queasy every time i step into a plane. in a lot of ways, this sentence describes my life right now.
right now, things are so chaotic and busy. wheels touching the ground is kind of symbolic for the chaos lessening and things coming to an end. it's something i crave right now. it's something i always look forward to when i'm flying and when we land, i cannot wait for that moment because that is when my stomach can feel sturdy again.
right now, i feel like as the new year launched, so did this new quarter. i'm flying right now and i look forward to when God gives me the o.k. for landing and my "wheels can touch the ground" safely. :O)
as for now, God is totally helping me "fly" and sustaining me all through out it.
there's so much i want to write about how the rest of my winter break went. it truly was a blessing from God, those 3 weeks of rest, fun, celebrating, family, and etc. i enjoyed it SO MUCH that for the first time ever, i did not want to go back to Riverside. i always like going back because Riverside equals freedom and independence and the majority of my friends. yet, last quarter was so tough and challenging that i was scared to go back. i felt like i was not ready to handle all the stress and pressure again.
but after going to IHOP conference for the past week, i was REALLY challenged, inspired, and encouraged from it.
there are so many new years' resolutions i made that coincided with what i learned there. one of my resolutions is to work hard and let God use me in whatever way He wanted. this means surrendering my WHOLE life to him. and that includes going back to Riverside in order to be given those opportunities.
being back here has been certainly challenging but i have seen many blessings as well. i also am seeing a lot of growth in myself and others. i am excited for how this quarter is going to go. the Lord is full of surprises :O]
right now, things are so chaotic and busy. wheels touching the ground is kind of symbolic for the chaos lessening and things coming to an end. it's something i crave right now. it's something i always look forward to when i'm flying and when we land, i cannot wait for that moment because that is when my stomach can feel sturdy again.
right now, i feel like as the new year launched, so did this new quarter. i'm flying right now and i look forward to when God gives me the o.k. for landing and my "wheels can touch the ground" safely. :O)
as for now, God is totally helping me "fly" and sustaining me all through out it.
there's so much i want to write about how the rest of my winter break went. it truly was a blessing from God, those 3 weeks of rest, fun, celebrating, family, and etc. i enjoyed it SO MUCH that for the first time ever, i did not want to go back to Riverside. i always like going back because Riverside equals freedom and independence and the majority of my friends. yet, last quarter was so tough and challenging that i was scared to go back. i felt like i was not ready to handle all the stress and pressure again.
but after going to IHOP conference for the past week, i was REALLY challenged, inspired, and encouraged from it.
there are so many new years' resolutions i made that coincided with what i learned there. one of my resolutions is to work hard and let God use me in whatever way He wanted. this means surrendering my WHOLE life to him. and that includes going back to Riverside in order to be given those opportunities.
being back here has been certainly challenging but i have seen many blessings as well. i also am seeing a lot of growth in myself and others. i am excited for how this quarter is going to go. the Lord is full of surprises :O]
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