college crisis

it's finally happened...

i've been dreading it for awhile and have had 3 years to prepare for it. but it wasn't enough for the weight of it all...

i have finally hit my pre-grad crisis. i feel like EVERYTHING is changing. nothing is constant.

the ONLY thing that has stayed consistent in my life is Jesus Christ. I would be even more a mess without Him.

I shouldn't even be in a mess but my flesh takes over from time to time. it's shameful and stressful.

everything that is changing: housing situation, relationships, school, FUTURE, and so much more!!!! gahhhhhh.

for the longest time i was feeling confused, uncertain [still am], frustrated, and sad cause i could not figure out things i needed to. i look at the people who have their lives figured out and feel tinges of jealousy. i would also look at people who don't have their lives figured out like me and want to connect with them but at the same time not wanting to get lost in their confusion as well. i still am going through a huge uncertainty phase but going to AACF's breakfast club and reflecting on the passage Willyhelm had us read helped me so much--->Psalm 1:3
"He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."
i had personal interpretations of each phrase but the one that helped me and stuck out the most was "which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither, whatever he does prospers"
i see the season part referring to how we will have different seasons in our lives and mine right now is confusion. it's ok to be confused right now.
i also like the part where it says whose leaf does not wither because i see that as me needing to sustain my walk so that my spiritual walk will not wither.
and the whatever he does prospers part speaks to me about how God's plans for me are ALL good. so even the hard times are there for my own benefit. i need to trust Him and realize that He is ultimately in control even when it feels like things are out of place.
that same saturday, i also went to my church's Women's Tea where the speaker Georgette O' Brian spoke about the Power of Prayer and reminded us to go back to our first love-God. it's such a sweet reminder and she gave a personal testimony that really reminded me of God's love for me and that He really does answer all my prayers.

God is a good God. Run to Him cause i GUARANTEE you, He will not let you down [if you think He is, then you are misinterpreting the situation and are not reading the Word. seek encouragement from your brothers&sisters].

Smile, Jesus loves you. :O)